Did you know that men approached by an attractive researcher will move away from her six inches and not send out flirty signals? There’s one catch of course — the man needs to be getting plenty of hugs at home.
You may be wondering what could make such a difference. Well, the men who were moving further away are given doses of oxytocin. This neurotransmitter, affectionately known as the "cuddle or bonding hormone," leads to feelings of trust and the wish to reach out for companionship. It also creates loyalty to your partner.
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How do we get more of that kicking around in our system? Simple. Twenty second hugs will increase that sense of love with your partner. The temptation to be involved in cheating (click for my articles on extramarital affairs or infidelity) becomes less likely. It will leave him with a feeling that all is right with the world and he will be feeling that special kind of loyalty to you.
If you don’t believe this, let me invite you to do your own experiment. Invite your husband into a 20 second hug at least twice a day. He may be a little surprised if it lasts that long. Don’t pat or massage. Just move in for a full body hug and pause even if he starts to pull away. Note your own good feelings of connection to the man you love. See if the feeling begins to become mutual. Build up to at least a goodbye hug in the morning and a hello hug when you get home. And of course, if you are both smart enough to go to bed at the same time, there's that wonderful cuddle time before you sleep. Enjoy that feeling of well-being and meaningful closeness. And don’t forget you may even be helping both of you stave off any temptations.
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If you’re concerned about the possibility of infidelity or just want to better your marital communication, give me a call at 914-548-8645. I am in the NYC/ Westchester area. Otherwise, get more tips from my monthly newsletter at dr-jim.com.
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