Hug Your Way To A Better Marriage in 20 Seconds


Hug Your Way To A Better Marriage in 20 Seconds
Research suggests that hugging can prevents cheating in your marriage. Read more to learn why.

Did you know that men approached by an attractive researcher will move away from her six inches and not send out flirty signals? There’s one catch  of course —  the man needs to be getting plenty of hugs at home. 

You may be wondering what could make such a difference. Well, the men who were moving further away are given doses of oxytocin. This neurotransmitter, affectionately known as the "cuddle or bonding hormone," leads to feelings of trust and the wish to reach out for companionship. It also creates loyalty to your partner.

How do we get more of that kicking around in our system? Simple. Twenty second hugs will increase that sense of love with your partner. The temptation to be involved in cheating (click for my articles on extramarital affairs or infidelity) becomes less likely. It will leave him with a feeling that all is right with the world and he will be feeling that special kind of loyalty to you.

If you don’t believe this, let me invite you to do your own experiment. Invite your husband into a 20 second hug at least twice a day. He may be a little surprised if it lasts that long. Don’t pat or massage. Just move in for a full body hug and pause even if he starts to pull away. Note your own good feelings of connection to the man you love. See if the feeling begins to become mutual. Build up to at least a goodbye hug in the morning and a hello hug when you get home. And of course, if you are both smart enough to go to bed at the same time, there's that wonderful cuddle time before you sleep. Enjoy that feeling of well-being and meaningful closeness. And don’t forget you may even be helping both of you stave off any temptations.  

If you’re concerned about the possibility of infidelity or just want to better your marital communication, give me a call at 914-548-8645. I am in the NYC/ Westchester area. Otherwise, get more tips from my monthly newsletter at

More relationship coach advice on YourTango: 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Jim Walkup LMFT

Marriage/Couples Counselor

I am passionate about helping you as a couple find new ways to relate more intimately and more joyfully.  Give me the chance to help shape your interactions so that they are productive, maningful and life giving.  If you are in the New York City or Bronxville call me to set up an appointment at 914 548 8645



Location: New York, NY
Credentials: DMin, LMFT
Other Articles/News by Dr. Jim Walkup LMFT:

What Does Depression Feel Like And How Do I Recognize It?


Do you ever have a sense of being tired and not having much energy? Or perhaps you find yourself just plain grumpy with your spouse, your employees or your children. People around you seem to be walking wider circles around you. Your road rage is close to the surface. You take something out on the cashier who doesn't deserve it at all. If your spouse ... Read more

Lessons To Learn From Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest's Breakup


"In every relationship, I had one foot out because I didn't want to get hurt. And I didn't say what was on my mind because I didn't want to ruffle any feathers. I needed to be perfect," Julianne Hough told Redbook following her breakup after two years with Ryan Seacrest. In these few words, Julianne packs a wealth of truth about what ... Read more

Don't Let This Happen To Your Marriage


Do you ever wonder why your friends find their partner is cheating?  After over 40 years of helping couples save their marriage, I want to summarize the all too common story.   Couples remember well, that wonderful “the in-love” feeling.  That first moment of meeting will make them smile.  Asking them what they thought of ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.