ProConnect

10 Things to Not Say on a First Date

By

10 Things  to Not Say on a First Date
A first date is an opportunity to get to know a new person. Share your best qualities first.

On a first day, you approach a new person with either excitement and hope or apprehension and even fear.  You want to make a good impression, you want this other person to like you and to "the one."  Although we know a lot about another person in the first few seconds of seeing each other.  We know how attractive they are to us.  We know if they are gentle, passive, aggressive, open, secretive, loving or hostile.  We may not consciously pay attention to what we know but our brain picks up lots of signals.

Even if we send out blatant signals to indicate we are insecure or confident or that we are loving or distant, we can still alter the other person's perception of us by the words we choose to speak and the tone in which we speak them.  Words are powerful and once expressed cannot be unspoken.  I am not suggesting that you carefully censor everything you say but there are some habits that will help you to get closer to a new person and other habits that will instantly set the other person up to be more cautious.

More from YourTango: Sex and Love Are Not New This Valentine's Day

Please don't say any of these 10 things on a first date - unless - you have clearly established a more comprehensive understanding of who you are and how you generally operate in the world.  Within the context of your entire life, it may not be as off-putting, but if this is all another person knows about you, you may as well say goodbye right now.

More from YourTango: Give The Gift Of Love

  1. It was all his/her fault – Bashing and bad mouthing your ex.
  2. It’s all my mother/father’s fault – I had a bad childhood and didn’t know any better.
  3. “They” prevented me from.... I couldn’t finish school because “they” didn’t pay for it. I couldn’t get married because “they” rejected me....
  4. I live with my mother/parents because I can’t afford to live on my own.
  5. I have no money so you have to pay the bill
  6. I am desperate to get married because I don’t want to be alone
  7. I’m a sex addict or I don’t like sex
  8. I always cause men/women to abuse me, take advantage, reject me.
  9. I still love my ex and I call and text him/her every day.
  10. You’re not smart enough, attractive enough, successful enough, interesting enough or good enough for me.

A first date is an opportunity to get to know a new person.  Show interest and curiosity about the other person.  Share some of your best qualities and attributes and experien ces.  Then, maybe, if you have developed a true rapport, you can share a bit of the less attractive features of your life.  So much has to do with timing, including the way you share yourself with another person.

If you're ready to heal yourself, your relationship to others, your past and finally create the loving future you desire, My Complete Relationship System

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Erica Goodstone

Author

I have the unique habit of caring about you and seeing your greatness when you may temporarily have blinders on. I will lovingly nudge you into a state of self-acceptance, self-appreciation and receptivity to the love of others.

My life's work is to help you create and allow healing and love in your life and all your relationships. You create healing in your body by removing impediments to your natural immune system functions. You create love in your relationships by accepting and appreciating the unique gifts that each and every person has to offer, and that includes YOU.

Find a Kindle Book about love, touch, healing, sexuality, spiritual reawakening and more.

Discover the 9 Love Secrets in Dr. Erica's interview by David Riklan from SelfGrowth.com

Schedule a private coaching or counseling session: DrEricaWellness.com

Hire Dr. Erica to speak at your next event:  DrEricaGoodstone.com

Visit my Blog: CreateHealingAndLoveNow.com/blog

Like my Facebook Page: HealingThroughLove

Get your FREE RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS REPORT:DrEricaWellness.com


 

Location: Boca Raton, FL
Credentials: LMFT, LMHC, LPC, MA, MFT, NCC, Other, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Erica Goodstone:

Sex and Love Are Not New This Valentine's Day

By

Sorry to disappoint you, but love is not new.  You did not invent sex and you are not the first person to experience love or to discover a certain sexual position or a specific way to please your partner.  Believe it or not, whatever you can imagine, conceive, or indulge in, you are not the first person to do this. I had the pleasure of being on a ... Read more

Give The Gift Of Love

By

"LOVE" is the most precious gift we can give to anyone at any time.  Far more valuable than the most expensive diamond, the most exotic vacation, the most luxurious home or the most sporty and powerful automobile.  With love as the basis, of couse, all of these gifts would probably be most welcome.  But without love as the foundation, ... Read more

On the 12th Day of Loving

By

Are you in a relationship where you feel an accumulation of little hurts, not one big hurt but many little ones?  Notice how the little hurts build slowly.  Relationship intimacy builds with every caring, sensitive and open communication.  And it is quite fragile, requiring consistent nurturing.   On the 1st day of loving my true ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
deep breath

Should I stay or Should i go? 5 Ways To Make The Best Decision

Are you confused about staying or going in a relationship? Read on...

shame

How to Get Over Your Stinkin' Thinkin'

Recognize "Stinkin Thinkin" that leads to depression and turn it into positive action and success.

valentines-flowers-surprise

Why Breakups Hurt

Breakups hurt us even when there is no love lost.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS