It's the wonderful and often confusing world of sex for those of us who are long past being kids. When it comes to the topic of sex after 50 there are typically two camps: those who smile inwardly knowing that grown-up sex is like a fine wine that only gets better with age, and those who shockingly ask, "Sex after fifty? Does it really exist?"
The truth is that sex after 50 does exist, and can exist in your relationship too. And though it may be a little bit different than when you were in your 20s and 30s, it can actually be better than before!
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I've been a practicing psychologist for over 40 years, working with men and women every day who find that sex has become boring, or more like a chore than a treat. Often, people over 50 quietly worry about a myriad of sexual issues that are more common than most people might think.
For example, women: do you find your mind wandering away from the bedroom and closer to thoughts of your graying hair, widening waistline, or sagging boobs? To the point where you would rather undress in the closet, with the lights out, during a lunar eclipse?
Men: do you worry about being able to get it up and then keep it up when you're in bed with your lover? Perhaps you're self-conscious because your penis doesn't seem as big as it used to be, or that it's gone from being your best friend to a more inconsistent and less cooperative part of your body?
It's easy to think there is something wrong with us now that we've gotten older and can't / don't perform like athletes in bed. In truth, it's perfectly natural for our bodies to change as we age. And that means that sex has to evolve with our own aging bodies. But with some new information and willingness to experiment, sex can turn out to be an unexpected gift, and you might realize that you're better at it than you realized.
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In fact, we can remain sexually fulfilled beings as long as we are alive. Sex makes the world go round. It is our essential life force, within us through every age and every stage of life. Lifelong sex is what sets us apart from all other species.
While it's true that sex does change as our sex-drive hormones begin to fade after 50, our core sexuality lasts a lifetime. Sex NEVER dies! Sex is too primal, pleasurable, and good for us to give up without a battle. At any age, sex can keep you healthier and may help you forget about your worldly woes for a while. After 50 (and even after 90) we don't need to toss out our condoms and hang up our vibrators as we grow older and wiser. Sex and sensuality are integral and permanent to life, and there is no reason, if we are physically able, not to enjoy both for the rest of our days.