5 Steps To Making Sure Your Partner Knows How To Love You

By

Love Advice: Let Your Partner Know How You Feel Loved
The way you feel love is different from the way your partner feels love.

There have been numerous books written on how to love your man or how to love your woman. The concept of loving is so individualized, depending on how a person was raised, religion, cultural influences, communication and sexual intimacy. Understanding how you need to feel loved and then expressing that to your partner is what the five steps to loving is all about. Learning how to communicate to your partner, what makes you feel loved in your relationship, is the best way to feel loved. 

Do you know what makes your partner feel loved? 

 

When a partner wants to express their love to the other partner, instead of directly asking what makes that person feel loved, they often times will do what they think might symbolize love. 

Example: Someone may feel loved by their wife cooking dinner for them, but does not tell her that. So she rarely cooks dinner. Because of this, he feels like she does not love him. Let's say a woman gets in an argument with her husband. Instead of apologizing, the husband gives her money and tells her to buy herself something nice. This just makes her even angrier, but he thought it was loving.

Five exercises that you and you partner/spouse can do with each other to be understand the other person's love language. 

  1. Write down ten ways that you feel loved. It can be intimacy, communication, or time together. Whatever it may be, take the time to think about it and share it with your spouse. 
  2. Have your partner/spouse do the same thing.
  3. Read the list to each other. Take turns and be open to listening to one another.
  4. Don't judge or feel like what you have been doing is wrong. Take this time to learn something new and move forward in a positive direction.
  5. Pick five things from each other's list and practice how the other person wants to be loved. It could be that they want a kiss or hug every night. Or they would love a massage or to be caressed in a certain way. Maybe during love making they want you to slow down and add more touching or kissing. In one example, from a couple I counseled, the husband wanted his wife to tell him that she loved him and wanted him during sex

The point to this exercise is to open the doors to better communication with your partner, because no one is a mind reader. Don't assume that you know the other person, ask them first! This will create better communication between you two and you will avoid the unnecessary issues that come with not knowing how your partner wants to be loved. 

For intimacy counseling with Dr. Dawn Michael go to The Happy Spouse (805) 732-7847 or reach Dr. Michael Live on LivePerson.

More love advice from YourTango: 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael PhD ACS

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Dawn Michael:

The Science Behind Men And Their Hidden Emotions

By

Our brains have two emotional systems that work simultaneously; males seem to use one system more and females seem to use the other system more. As men reach puberty, their emotional empathy is not the same as a woman's and that boundary is there to prevent men from being influenced by others. Whereas women take into account what others think of them, men ... Read more

The Sexual Aging Of The Mind And Body

By

Oftentimes individuals are not aware of these natural changes, and may view them as lack of sexual desire or a newly developed sexual dysfunction. Our ability to function sexually changes as we mature, where once getting turned on sexually was easy, as a person ages it is normal for an individual to need more mental and physical stimulation. One issue that ... Read more

Vaccinate your Teenager against Sexually Transmitted Diseases

By

As a parent would you like your child to learn about sex from other teenagers? Parents can now vaccinate their children against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease with information! What makes it such a problem in the United States and even more so in Singapore is the generation gap between traditional views of sex on one side and the ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular