Should You Reconcile With An Ex?

By Dr. Dar Hawks. Posted on Feb 11th 2013.

reconcile with your ex — Should you give your ruined relationship a second try?

Consider these three factors first.

Pining for the "good old days" with your ex can be a nice break from your daily routine, but when is it a good idea to hold out hope of reconciliation?

Well, there are three foundational requirements for a healthy relationship. They are: trust, open communication and balancing individuality with being a couple.

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Without trust, a relationship cannot survive. Trust is about allowing yourself to be completely genuine in the relationship; being able to say anything and feel heard and understood; knowing your partner always respects you; knowing your partner is always faithful; feeling solid, grounded and stable in the relationship; feeling 100 percent safe in the relationship (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually).

Open communication is equally essential. It's about knowing you can share from your heart without fear; listening openly and without judgment; following through on agreements; being supported for having your own opinions and beliefs (even with topics like religion, spirituality and politics); being able to find common ground in the midst of disagreement.

Now, there are three spokes in a relationship: you, your partner and the relationship. All need love, attention and support. A healthy balance includes having your own friends; having mutual friends to do things with together as a couple; participating in your own interests and hobbies; being your own person in the relationship; making decisions collaboratively; and being supportive of individual decisions. Keep reading...

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Get even more insights about how (and why) to ditch your "type" and free yourself from unhealthy attachments -- so you can finally find the love of your life.

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Location: Charlotte, NC

Credentials: MBA, PhD

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