Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Should You Reconcile With An Ex?

reconcile with your ex

Consider these three factors first.

Pining for the "good old days" with your ex can be a nice break from your daily routine, but when is it a good idea to hold out hope of reconciliation?

Well, there are three foundational requirements for a healthy relationship. They are: trust, open communication and balancing individuality with being a couple.

Without trust, a relationship cannot survive. Trust is about allowing yourself to be completely genuine in the relationship; being able to say anything and feel heard and understood; knowing your partner always respects you; knowing your partner is always faithful; feeling solid, grounded and stable in the relationship; feeling 100 percent safe in the relationship (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually).

Open communication is equally essential. It's about knowing you can share from your heart without fear; listening openly and without judgment; following through on agreements; being supported for having your own opinions and beliefs (even with topics like religion, spirituality and politics); being able to find common ground in the midst of disagreement.

Now, there are three spokes in a relationship: you, your partner and the relationship. All need love, attention and support. A healthy balance includes having your own friends; having mutual friends to do things with together as a couple; participating in your own interests and hobbies; being your own person in the relationship; making decisions collaboratively; and being supportive of individual decisions. Keep reading...

For a limited time only, receive our free eBook, Break Up With Your Ex (a $5 value), yours free when you sign up for YourTango's free, daily newsletter.

Get even more insights about how (and why) to ditch your "type" and free yourself from unhealthy attachments -- so you can finally find the love of your life.

More breakup advice from YourTango: