Everyone wants to be part of a happy and stable couple. But, with the divorce rate so high, creating emotionally intimate couplehood is a considerable challenge. Here are 6 crucial insights about how to maintain a thriving, romantic relationship:
1. Nurture each other. One overriding rule: intimate relationships are nurturing relationships. Everyone realizes that children need to be cherished and supported for healthy development. Well, your romantic partner needs you to encourage and nourish him/her everyday as well. Paying careful attention to your partner, and giving yourself in this way to him/her will create a very powerful bond of love and trust between you.
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2. Actions speak louder than words. It's easy to say, "I love you." If you've got the money, it's easy to buy gifts. But the best gift of all is your focus and attention.
What's going on in your partner's day, week, or month? Is his mother sick? How did the meeting with the school go? Is she still upset with her boss? If you forget to ask about important events and feelings, your partner will assume that you're not interested in connection, and that something or someone else is more important to you than they are.
If you know that you are a forgetful person but you want to remember the details of what is important to your partner, it's kosher to write a little note to remind yourself to ask about x, y, or z. Writing the note shows your intent to be involved in their life. Should We Live Together Before We Get Married?
3. Give the ultimate gift. Loving someone is not giving them what you want to give them, it's giving them what they want to be given. Sometimes this is a very tall order. When you are trying to be caring and affectionate, be honest with yourself. Are you actually attempting to meet the person's stated needs?
If you are giving them what you would like yourself, or what you wish they would want to get, don't be disappointed at their reaction.
4. Show appreciation. Give honest thanks and acknowledgment. When you see your partner trying to nourish you, show your love and appreciation. Everyone likes to be recognized for their efforts, even if they miss the mark.
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