According to statistics, more than 40 million Americans find themselves in sexless marriages. This doesn't include all of the non-married relationships or the rest of the world. More than half the couples I counsel each week have not had sex with their partner in over a year. A large number of these couples are over forty years of age and use the changes to their physiology as their excuse to avoid sexual intimacy. For others, sex ended with the birth of their children or because of repetition and boredom. The Truth About Sexless Marriage
Let me list some of the top "reasons" that couples have settled for a sexless relationship:
1. Not liking to talk about sex. While many couples are uncomfortable talking about sex, in my experience, they are generally not comfortable talking about anything with each other and have huge communication issues.
2. Not understanding the mechanics of sexuality and lust. There are specific stages that sexual activity generally moves through (desire, arousal, plateau, orgasm, refractory) and many couples don't understand how to utilize this knowledge for the deepest and most satisfying connection.
3. Use of antidepressants. The majority of antidepressants have a sexual side-effect profile that impacts many men and women. Your Love Life on Drugs
4. Lack of sleep. In our under-slept culture, sleep deficiency drains us of energy for sex play as well as impacts our mood and desire for intimacy.
5. Effects of aging. As the "baby boomers" advance in age, issues involving menopause and erectile dysfunction become more prevalent. 25 Secrets To A Loving, Lasting Marriage
6. Viewing sexual problems as one partner's and not as an issue for the couple. Issues of shame and guilt prevent us from acknowledging, communicating, and solving our sexual issues as a team.
If you are experiencing some of this and have a question for me, I hold a free teleseminar every month where I answer your most important questions about relationships, romance, intimacy or sexuality. You can find out more at http://askadamnow.com
Thank you so much,
Dr. Adam Sheck.
More Juicy Content From YourTango: