9 Love Lessons I Learned From My Divorce

By

9 Love Lessons I Learned From My Divorce [EXPERT]
Divorce is painful, but it can be rewarding as well.

Going through a divorce is one of the most painful things for anyone to experience. I can relate from my own personal divorce drama. The day my ex threatened to call the cops because my parents took my son to church made me wonder, how could it ever get this bad?

There were days I felt like I should make a guest appearance on the Jerry Springer show. Getting divorced and going through separation, with children, a once-shared home and pets, is painful and confusing. But it can also be a great teacher. How Do I Know I'm Ready To Start Dating After A Divorce?

 

1. Don't play the blame game. He said-she said will get you nowhere fast. It's easy to say "It's all your fault we're getting a divorce because you cheated on me." But when you place blame on your ex, it takes away your power and you become the victim.

2. Don't blame everything on yourself. It's easy to place the blame on yourself, especially if you're a people-pleaser. When you still care for your ex, it's so easy to make excuses for him and his behavior. It's not all your fault; there has probably been lack of communication between the two of you. Don't let that nasty voice in your head make you act like a doormat.

3. A therapist or life coach is worth it. My ex thought I must be crazy for leaving him, so I needed a therapist. I made my first appointment for counseling to prove that I wasn't crazy. Now, I realize I was crazy for not going to talk to a professional sooner.

After my first session, I realized she really knew what she was talking about, and I am forever grateful for her guidance. Talking to someone in the know will help you be in the know. A good counseler will hand you tissues, listen and respond with words of wisdom that you never thought of. You will start to see things in a different light. Still feeling confused and attached?

4. If things get nasty, don't be friends. Instead, be friendly. If your divorce isn't going smoothly, you don't have to be best buds. Your ex doesn't need to hear the intimate details of your work schedule or that you signed up on match.com. You can be business-like, but friendly. Especially if you have children involved, keep things short and sweet. Top 10 Reasons Why Women Divorce

More divorce advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dina Z Colada

Dating Coach

Get my FREE eBook "Stop Pushing Men Away & Get The EPIC Love You Want," when you sign up for my EPIC Love Newsletter. If you are ready to magentize men instead of making them run away don't wait another minute, get your copy today!

Dina on Facebook

Dina on Twitter

Location: Morgantown, WV
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Dina Z Colada:

4 Things 20-Somethings Should Know Before Getting Busy In Bed

By

The ins and outs of sex and sexual relationships are things that we don't necessarily learn in school alongside multiplication tables and biology. And figuring out our relationships is even more complicated than Statistics 115. I think Gertrude Stein had it all wrong when she said, "I really do not know that anything has ever been more exciting ... Read more

7 Steps Every Alpha Male Knows To Win The Girl

By

I have written 100’s of profiles for men online to show their best traits and one thing I see is a confusion of roles. A lot of men are consider themselves to be alpha, but yet … want to be chased by women. It’s an interesting dynamic that is shifting in our culture. There are clients who tell me they are dying to know how to become ... Read more

'How Can I Stop Dating The Same Type Of Losers Over And Over?'

By

You and your girlfriends get together for a girl's night out and you all wonder, why do I always attract the wrong guys? Your friends tell you that you are an amazing catch, but you seem to continue dating guys who are losers, weirdoes, and men who are too busy to see you, or never call when he says he will. The biggest dilemma I see with so many of my ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular