9 Love Lessons I Learned From My Divorce

By

9 Love Lessons I Learned From My Divorce [EXPERT]
Divorce is painful, but it can be rewarding as well.

Going through a divorce is one of the most painful things for anyone to experience. I can relate from my own personal divorce drama. The day my ex threatened to call the cops because my parents took my son to church made me wonder, how could it ever get this bad?

There were days I felt like I should make a guest appearance on the Jerry Springer show. Getting divorced and going through separation, with children, a once-shared home and pets, is painful and confusing. But it can also be a great teacher. How Do I Know I'm Ready To Start Dating After A Divorce?

1. Don't play the blame game. He said-she said will get you nowhere fast. It's easy to say "It's all your fault we're getting a divorce because you cheated on me." But when you place blame on your ex, it takes away your power and you become the victim.

2. Don't blame everything on yourself. It's easy to place the blame on yourself, especially if you're a people-pleaser. When you still care for your ex, it's so easy to make excuses for him and his behavior. It's not all your fault; there has probably been lack of communication between the two of you. Don't let that nasty voice in your head make you act like a doormat.

3. A therapist or life coach is worth it. My ex thought I must be crazy for leaving him, so I needed a therapist. I made my first appointment for counseling to prove that I wasn't crazy. Now, I realize I was crazy for not going to talk to a professional sooner.

After my first session, I realized she really knew what she was talking about, and I am forever grateful for her guidance. Talking to someone in the know will help you be in the know. A good counseler will hand you tissues, listen and respond with words of wisdom that you never thought of. You will start to see things in a different light. Still feeling confused and attached?

4. If things get nasty, don't be friends. Instead, be friendly. If your divorce isn't going smoothly, you don't have to be best buds. Your ex doesn't need to hear the intimate details of your work schedule or that you signed up on match.com. You can be business-like, but friendly. Especially if you have children involved, keep things short and sweet. Top 10 Reasons Why Women Divorce

More divorce advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dina Z Colada

Dating Coach

Get my FREE eBook "Stop Pushing Men Away & Get The EPIC Love You Want," when you sign up for my EPIC Love Newsletter. If you are ready to magentize men instead of making them run away don't wait another minute, get your copy today!

Dina on Facebook

Dina on Twitter

Location: Morgantown, WV
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Dina Z Colada:

Make Any Girl Want You In 6 Easy Moves

By

When you think about asking out the cute waitress at the diner, are you haunted by memories of being rejected by the head cheerleader in high school? Good news, you aren't a teenager anymore and you have a lot to offer a cute and attractive woman. You just have to know how to approach her. Here are 5 easy steps you need to take to meet and get the girl of ... Read more

Sexy Staycation: Naughty Games To Play With Your Beau

By

You are scrambling to history class and writing papers during the day. You're serving up eggs over easy and bad coffee at night, while wearing skin-colored panty hose, ugly white tennis shoes, (that, in itself, is a nightmare on top of a nightmare), and brown bric-a-brac 1950s apron. Even you, my hard-working gal, can get away from it all. And after wearing ... Read more

How To Kiss Like A Lover – Not A Dog

By

What does a woman want from a man? Kissing. Damn good kissing and lots of it. Amazing kissing can lead to getting a second date, incredible sexual tension, full-blown arousal, the possibility of getting a girlfriend and even a wife. I've done my fair share of kissing, and I would judge a whopping 80% of men that I have kissed seemed to have no idea how ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB