9 Love Lessons I Learned From My Divorce

By

9 Love Lessons I Learned From My Divorce [EXPERT]
Divorce is painful, but it can be rewarding as well.

Going through a divorce is one of the most painful things for anyone to experience. I can relate from my own personal divorce drama. The day my ex threatened to call the cops because my parents took my son to church made me wonder, how could it ever get this bad?

There were days I felt like I should make a guest appearance on the Jerry Springer show. Getting divorced and going through separation, with children, a once-shared home and pets, is painful and confusing. But it can also be a great teacher. How Do I Know I'm Ready To Start Dating After A Divorce?

1. Don't play the blame game. He said-she said will get you nowhere fast. It's easy to say "It's all your fault we're getting a divorce because you cheated on me." But when you place blame on your ex, it takes away your power and you become the victim.

2. Don't blame everything on yourself. It's easy to place the blame on yourself, especially if you're a people-pleaser. When you still care for your ex, it's so easy to make excuses for him and his behavior. It's not all your fault; there has probably been lack of communication between the two of you. Don't let that nasty voice in your head make you act like a doormat.

3. A therapist or life coach is worth it. My ex thought I must be crazy for leaving him, so I needed a therapist. I made my first appointment for counseling to prove that I wasn't crazy. Now, I realize I was crazy for not going to talk to a professional sooner.

After my first session, I realized she really knew what she was talking about, and I am forever grateful for her guidance. Talking to someone in the know will help you be in the know. A good counseler will hand you tissues, listen and respond with words of wisdom that you never thought of. You will start to see things in a different light. Still feeling confused and attached?

4. If things get nasty, don't be friends. Instead, be friendly. If your divorce isn't going smoothly, you don't have to be best buds. Your ex doesn't need to hear the intimate details of your work schedule or that you signed up on match.com. You can be business-like, but friendly. Especially if you have children involved, keep things short and sweet. Top 10 Reasons Why Women Divorce

More divorce advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dina Z Colada

Dating Coach

Get my FREE eBook "Stop Pushing Men Away & Get The EPIC Love You Want," when you sign up for my EPIC Love Newsletter. If you are ready to magentize men instead of making them run away don't wait another minute, get your copy today!

Dina on Facebook

Dina on Twitter

Location: Morgantown, WV
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Dina Z Colada:

8 Tips To Help You Kiss Like A Pro

By

There's nothing worse than a sloppy kiss. The moisture, the rogue tongue going every which way, the groping hands. It's enough to make you shiver (and not in the fun way). Do you really want to be known as the Face Licker, or the Tongue Stabber? No, we didn't think so. No human on earth wants that. You (and the rest of us, really) want to be known ... Read more

He Didn't Call, Again? 4 Steps To Dealing With Rejection

By

Rejection hurts, especially when you are put on the recieving end by someone you care about. Being rejected does, however, serve a purpose. It helps you evolve and fine-tune yourself. Being rejected also helps you understand yourself and others. It can be something small like asking someone to call you when they get to their destination, or something bigger ... Read more

How Having A List Can Affair-Proof Your Marriage Or Destroy It

By

I’m a big fan of the list: The do list, that can be found on a double-folded piece of paper which I snagged from The Four Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris. The grocery list, the kissing list (which I started after an inexperienced kissing session in 7th grade), the yearly to-do list, the 3-year big goal list, the bucket list, and my all-time favorite lists ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular