When you think about asking out the cute waitress at the diner, are you haunted by memories of being rejected by the head cheerleader in high school? Good news, you aren't a teenager anymore and you have a lot to offer a cute and attractive woman. You just have to know how to approach her. Here are 5 easy steps you need to take to meet and get the girl of your dreams.
- Get clear on what you want. Take the time to actually write down what it is that you are looking for with a pen and paper. In an upcoming issue of Psychological Science, there is a study showing that "using pen and paper, not laptops, to take notes boosts memory and the ability to retain and understand concepts," and there's nothing more complicated than relationships and understanding women. If you don't know who you are looking for, how are you ever going to know her when you meet her?
- Learn what women want. I'm so proud that you are reading this article because a lot of men out there have no idea what women truly desire, and would apparently rather spend the rest of their lives single than doing the work to find out. But you are different. I know women are complicated, but you are ready to dive in so you can live a life with the women of your dreams. You are reading books and blogs, and are even considering hiring a dating coach. Talking to someone who has the skill and the tools to build your confidence and teach you the art of attraction will benefit your love life and your sex life more than you realize. Imagine coming home and having girls message you on online dating sites, because you have a profile that makes her want you before she even meets you!
- Penalize yourself. If you want to date a 10, but you also have an overflowing beer gut, it's time to do something different with your life. I went out with a smoking hot guy who ran one mile the next day for every drink he had the night before. This kind of penalty for bad behavior reaps rewards that every woman will appreciate; a man with a sexy fit bod. When you take care of yourself physically, it will boost your confidence and let the ladies know you actually like yourself.
- Don't be attached but imagine the possibilities. Put yourself out there. What have you got to lose, besides sleeping alone every night? My friend JT says, "go grocery shopping and place the cart in the vegetable section and place a smile on your face." This kind of stuff really works. There's nothing sexier than a man who acts like he owns the produce section and strikes up a conversation about how much he likes guacamole. Of course, you have to do more than just stand there — you also have to ask her out. The worst thing that could happen in the market is you spent two minutes of your life talking to a beautiful woman. Even if she wasn't single and you didn't get her number, you got to practice flirting.
- Be a flirt and be respectful. Don't say everything that pops into your mind and "be her friend," said my friend Wayne. Keep on the filter while you're at dinner and don't mention to her how hot you think your waitress is. Believe me, she doesn't want to hear that kind of comment and it won't make her like you more. Barbara (my awesome book editor) urged, "If a man can create safety (physically and emotionally), a woman can be honest and open and willing to share her precious self with him." Making a girl feel like you've got her back (even if you are checking out her booty), will inspire romantic feelings inside of her, and that's what you want.
- Build intrigue. "Women want to be part of exciting things," said my friend Earl. Send text messages that inspire mystery. Don't send bro messages like "Hey," or "What's up?" Be flirty and fun when you communicate and see her. Say things like "This crazy thing happened today and I can't wait to tell you about it when I see you tonight."
Get out there, be your best self and don't listen to what all of your (perpetually single) friends say, because they don't know what they're talking about. Be OK with where you are right now, because it's exactly where you are supposed to be. Savor the unknown and keep doing your homework on understanding women. Hunters don't go out into the wild knowing nothing about their prey. They learn about what they are hunting. It's the same way with women. If you want to hit the bull's eye, you've got to study and practice.
If you are tired of being single and don't know where to turn, I can help. Contact me for a free consultation and learn the art of understanding women. There's no one who can teach you more about women than another woman.
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