Here are the 5 deadly mistakes you are making on your online dating profile.
I write hundreds of online dating profiles for men and women who use online dating. I also write specific emails for people (mostly men) who are tired of getting rejected, are bad spellers, or just don't know what to say to women. People need help, and I am here to help.
Women don't have to initiate contact like men do, and I commend you guys for putting yourself out there. It takes a lot of guts to get online and send messages to women who seem to have it all: they are sexy, have a great job and are sweet to boot. When it comes to online dating there are two things that are plentiful: beautiful women you would like to date and, of course, rejection.
You stay up late into the night sending email after email with high hopes. You go to bed that evening excited to wake up in the morning, but when you turn on your computer you have an empty inbox. What is a guy to do? Send one more email to someone you're not even really interested in dating, just to get a date? I was working with a client who sent me a message and I felt his confusion and pain. He sent out messages written by himself with no luck, and now he is wondering why he received no responses from any of the women hired to help him attract others.
There are plenty of reasons why women don't respond to emails from men online, and here are the big five if you can't wait and need help now:
1. The messages you send sound like every other message.
I know this isn't the case with my client, because I created specific messages for him for specific women. These messages do not contain the average "Hi," "Hey sexy," the infamously spelled “your hot,” or the "im jason wanna chat? lol," which will put a gal to sleep on the keyboard and make her want to get out her red pen. I don't hear anyone laughing out loud unless it's the grammar police carrying you away to land of grammatical errors for grown-ups.
I read on urbandictionary.com about the phrase "a dime a dozen." One of the stated meanings of the generic slogan was "anything that is plentiful with little value. Possibly this phrase originated in the early 1900s as a sale discount for candies that cost a penny." Most online messages are worth less than a dime a dozen. There are a few simple steps you can take to make a message interesting amd increase the likelihood of getting a response. These tips will increase your chance of getting a message back and actually meet an amazing woman in real life.
How to attract women online with with good email using 5 steps:
- Actually read her profile, or at least a good part of it.
- Say something about what she wrote and prove that you didn't just gawk at her pictures.
- Find common ground. If she likes hiking you can talk about your favorite stomping grounds.
- Be humorous if possible.
- Have a call to action. You can ask her where she would rather go on a date... take a stroll in Brown's Mill or do a full day hike with boots, a peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and her German Shepard?
My client had all the right parts in his emails, so what is the problem here? Why didn't those lovely ladies respond to this handsome successful guy?
2. Sending a great email is only part of attracting women online.
Just because you know how to write a good email, or you know how to pay someone else to write it, does not mean that is all a gal looks for. That dental hygienist who loves kittens and sushi needs much more than a few well-written words if you want a response from her. There are critical things you must do with your profile if you want to get a message from the woman who you want to spend time with, rather than go to weekly poker night with the guys.
3. Your online dating profile needs sweet treats.
I don't know what your profile is like or what my email client's profile is like because I didn't write his profile or yours. I have no idea if your online dating profile has the right recipe to attract the kind of woman you are looking for, even if you send a well thought out and funny message. In my experience most of the profiles I have read, which extends well into the thousands, are in need of serious help. 95% of men's profiles are riddled with clichés like "I work hard and play hard" and "I like hiking and biking." This is the cookie cutter approach and it doesn't usually work unless you look like Bradley Cooper.
You want to give the woman a taste what you have to offer, so no generic off-brands please, fellas. First I will paint a picture for you using the cookie cutter approach. "Hey ladies, I have a cupcake, do you want it?" These kinds of words do not tell us about how the cupcake tastes, smells, looks like, or what it will feel like when we take a bite. You want to tap into the way she will feel when she meets you.
Now I will dish out an example of the sweet words cupcake approach. There is a moist chocolaty mini cake that is perfect for you. "Why is his cupcake the best one out there?" the hygienist with the perfect smile wonders. She doesn't have time to eat too many cupcakes, but if it's a really good one she might consider it. Give her more of what she really wants—juicy details.
This cupcake is topped with hand-whipped buttercream icing, and when you walk into the room your senses will be taken over with the thoughts of what it will be like when you taste it. When you unwrap this homemade treat your brain and tummy will be turned on with hints of almond and a sense of pure bliss before it even touches your lips. The chocolate sprinkles are just a taste of what is to come. When you bite into it you just might explode. That is how you want her to feel when she reads your profile.
These kinds of descriptions will turn a woman on. Paint a picture in her mind of why she would want to be with you. Make it juicy and dance around what you really mean, don't just come right out and say it. Play with her imagination. What will it be like to be with you? Women read romance novels for a reason, and don't respond to you for another.
4. Your online dating profile needs less mozzarella.
I'm not talking about margarita pizza, I'm talking about the cheese. "Say cheese," your Aunt Margaret croons at every family event. You don't always have to heed your sweet auntie's advice when it comes to your online dating profile pictures. In fact, to inspire romantic feelings in a woman, less cheese is more.
In a study of over 1,000 male and female adult participants, researchers delved into initial sexual attraction, as stated in the American Psychological Association journal of emotion. I read about this over at Science Daily. Researchers found that women were least attracted to men who were beaming with a smiley face. Looks of pride and power trumped those of happy-go-lucky pictures of men. The research was based on initial sexual attraction and that is what you need to get the first contact from a woman. Inspire her primal desires first and then let her know what a great guy you are.
5. Women don't have time to respond to everyone.
When I was first online and doing vast amounts of real world research, I took the time to reply to every man that sent a message. This would take three to four hours a day. Seriously. I don't suggest that anyone does this unless you have nothing else to do, or if you are only doing this because you are a people pleaser.
So, if you don't get a response from a woman online the best thing to do is not take it personally. Rejection is part of online dating, and every time it happens, it will toughen you up and it won't hurt as much the next time.
Make your online dating profile resonate with authenticity, humor, and paint a Picasso in her mind of what it will be like if she is so lucky enough to meet a great guy like you. If you have writer's block when it comes to your online dating profile, it's okay to ask for help.
Do you want to stop spending every night alone? Dina has helped regular guys like you, get truckloads of dates with beautiful women. The best way to do meet a real woman, is to turn her on first with your updated online dating profile.