How Wedding Fever Can Ruin Your Relationship

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bridegroom
Seven ways to keep your wedding from overshadowing your marriage.

Melissa and Tom (whose names have been changed to protect their privacy) argued as they drove to meet their vocal coach. "Why do you want to sing The Wind Beneath My Wings?" she asked. "It's such a cliché, and I'll never hear the end of it from my dad." "You're not doing much better with that Shania Twain song," Tom rebutted, "Everyone's going to hear it and remember that Shania Twain's husband left her for the assistant. Doesn't bode well, does it?"

Melissa and Tom were determined to make their June wedding an entertaining event, complete with readings by Melissa's sisters, both of whom are actresses, and additional music by Tom's brother, who is a singer/songwriter. Melissa wanted to wear a green dress to symbolize her commitment to environmental issues, but Tom worried that people would think it was strange.

So many details! Should they select chairs by price or comfort? Should they go with freesia or flowers that are more showy? Which kind of champagne should they choose for the toast? Chocolate fountain or Viennese table? And then there are the seating charts.

Tom and Melissa spend their non-working hours fighting about, well, everything wedding-related. Tom is beginning to question whether he really wants to marry Melissa, and Melissa wonders why she never noticed how conventional Tom is. Does he really value his uptight relatives' opinions about the color of her dress more than he cares about her only opportunity to don her dream dress?

Does their situation sound familiar to you? We've all known a Bridezilla or two women who are so over-the-top about the wedding that they forget about the groom. But what happens to couples that get so lost in wedding planning that they forget to focus on the bigger issue — namely, the marriage that lies ahead? Keep reading ...

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Article contributed by

Diane Spear, LCSW-R

Counselor/Therapist

Diane Spear, LCSW-R, is a NYC-based psychotherapist who helps couples and individuals throughout the world find the joy in everyday life! She has been in practice since 1995, working with older adolescents up through older adults. Check out her website at www.dianespeartherapy.com to learn more about her therapy and counseling practice and couples and relationship therapy; and be sure to read her blog.

Connect with Diane through email here, or call 212-353-0296

 

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: LCSW-R
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Life Transitions
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