Us women know that when it comes to one-night stands, there's always a chance that the guy we choose will be sexually selfish - he'll only be interested in his own sexual satisfaction and couldn't care less about the woman's.
Case in point, my client, Shelley. Last week, she went over to a man’s house with nothing but great sex (for both of them) on her agenda. Very quickly, clothes came off and she went about pleasuring him, assuming that over the course of their delicious evening he, in turn, would naturally want to reciprocate…
More from YourTango: My "9 1/2 Weeks" With John The Dom
But as soon as he was ‘taken care of,’ he suddenly grabbed his phone and said: “I have to go to work, just got called in.” And before ANY part of you dares believe his story, I’ll mention that it was 8 p.m. on a SATURDAY night, the company he works for was NOT open at that time, AND, she never heard from him again.
The writing was clear: she’d been manipulated by an ‘In-it-for-me Man’.
Rightfully so, my client was disgusted: not with herself, for she recently divorced and she's OK with two consenting adult having pleasurable, respectful sex without love. Her digust lay with him. And her experience got me thinking, when it comes to ‘sexual encounters’ or one-night stands, what can a woman do to ensure he doesn’t get away with making it all about him?
More from YourTango: Why Every Woman Should Experiment With S&M
I don’t think there’s a foolproof way to 100% avoid the ‘In-it-for-me’ Man. That being said, flashes of his reptilian skin are often there to see if you know what to look for. Moreover, there are ways you can ‘control the show’ after your clothes are off IF you’re brave enough to own/speak/demonstrate your sexual wants and needs.
Here are some examples: