Let's face it: life's too short for bad dates. Focus on loving YOU instead.
"Well, that was a waste of make-up," groused my client Connie after a dinner date the previous weekend. Connie wasn't just frustrated over this particular dinner companion; she was beginning to believe that all the bad dates meant something was wrong with her. I assured her that it wasn't her and we focused the rest of our coaching session on how she could feel more confident in her own skin.
Maybe you've had a bad date (or two) and it's possible that all those bad experiences are taking a toll on your self-confidence. Instead of trying harder at the dating game, what if you focused on becoming smitten with yourself and enchanted with your own daily life? In the spirit of self-love, I bring you ten activities that are guaranteed to be more fun than a bad date. Once you've mastered treating yourself, meeting Prince Charming will be the icing on your already delicious cake of life.
1) Clean Out Your Closet
Want to feel all kinds of hot and sexy when your dating prospects are more inspirational? Then, darling, it's time to ditch the clothes that don't fit or make you feel frumpy, unattractive or dowdy. Get rid of all the worn out shoes and those clothes that you are saving for when you lose ten pounds. Your body is your canvas, so only keep in your closet things that make you feel spectacular. (Clearing clutter, by the way, is a great way to get crystal clear about what you really desire in your life.)
2) Buy An Awesome Date Night Outfit
Now that you've ditched all the clothes that don't make you look and feel gorgeous, go out shopping for a date night outfit that makes you feel enchanted with yourself. You may not want to go the sheer route like Carmen Electra did recently, but choosing an outfit that makes you feel attractive will increase your confidence. Confidence is sexy and addicting!
3) Get Fitted for New Bras
Let's face it — many of us are wearing the wrong size bra and you likely are as well. So what should you do? How about you give yourself the gift of support! I know personally that while bra shopping may not be a fun experience, the results are worth it. Lifting "the girls" up where they belong also makes your waist look thinner and make you feel more confident. While you're at it, buy two and the matching underwear. When you get dressed for work or play, you'll know what sexy secret is under your clothes. All the better for when you are ready to take 'em off, too!
4) Unfriend Your Ex From Facebook
In fact, remove your ex from all your social streams: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and any other social network that will make you privy to his life. If you are focusing on your ex, then all of your energy is going towards the past. Allow the space for new love to come into your life by clearing your social streams. Connection to an ex tells potential dates and friends that you aren't truly available. Do yourself a favor and be open to NEW and moving FORWARD, not back!
5) Go To Bed Early
Between early morning meetings, deadlines, and the need to catch up on the latest episode of Downton Abbey, the first thing to go is sleep. Our bodies, however, need a minimum of six hours of sleep night. Sleep loss has been tied to higher weight, higher blood pressure, and a myriad of other health issues. Oh, and one night of sleep loss can make you not look your best or be as approachable. You'll feel better about yourself when you look (and feel) more rested!
6) Go To The Mat
The meditation mat, that is. Regular meditation practice helps you be enchanted with your life. Time and again, research is showing us that meditation reduces stress, allows us to hone our focus, increase our productivity and allows us to be more compassionate. Think about it: less stress, more productive days, looser jeans and a positive outlook. What's not to love?
7) Get Up Early And Watch The Sun Rise
A study by the American Psychological Association reports early risers are generally happier than night owls. They also found that early birds tend to be more successful and productive than their night owl counterparts. Getting up early allows you more time to tend to yourself in the mornings: meditation, exercise, and a good breakfast. A solid morning routine will help you focus on those New Year's goals, too.
Early rising is a also great way to begin ditching that busy as a badge of honor! How your day begins sets the tone for your mood the rest of the day, so marvel at the beauty of the earth awakening. Have a sacred moment with just you and a cup of coffee before you move into your day.
8) Buy Yourself Fresh Flowers
Flowers are one of those things that brighten the mood while bringing beauty into your home. Treating yourself to flowers is about attending to the details of your surroundings to make life more pleasant. Becoming besotted with the art of living shows your mind and soul that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness and respect. Others will pick up on this and treat you the same. Don't you deserve to romance yourself?
9) Enroll In A Class
Whether it's a cooking class, a wine tasting class, or a dance class, learning a new skills challenges your mind and expands your experiences. Online courses are available in literature and sciences as well as self-improvement. Finding a local course gets you out into the world where you'll meet others with similar interests. As you make new friends and meet potential dates, mingling in a class allows you to get to know someone without the commitment of coffee or dinner. Growing your brain is sexy and will give you a broader range of dinner conversation to boot! Now, that certainly makes you more confident!
10) Make An Incredible Dinner From Scratch
Find a recipe you've always wanted to make and lovingly gather the ingredients. Cooking is not only about nourishing your body, it's about nourishing your creative soul. Want to share your hard work? Have a dinner party with your friends. Make it a grand affair by having your friends bring their friends. A casual dinner party is a great way to meet potential dates and make new friends.
Choosing to focus on yourself doesn't mean you’re giving up on the idea of being in a relationship. It's about falling in love with who you are in this moment. When you create a daily life that feels nourishing and supportive, your confidence soars. When you become enchanted with yourself and smitten with your own life, others will too.
Ready to invest in yourself? Check out ways to we can work together.
Debra Smouse is a Tarnished Southern Belle who fell in love after coming smitten with herself and enchanted with her life. She'd love to help you become enchanted with your life. Visit her website or connect with her on Twitter or Facebook.
More personal development coach advice on YourTango:
- Bad Body Image? 15 Ways To Improve Your Self-Esteem
- 3 Simple Steps To Improve Your Self-Confidence
- Love: Tips & Expert Advice