This winter has been more than a little harsh. Even the most optimistic of my clients are reporting winter blues and overall crankiness. I'm also hearing tales of mountains being made out of molehills and arguments over silly stuff. The bitter cold, abundance of snow, and forced time indoors is making the most loving couples short-tempered with each other.
No matter what the temperature may be at this moment, spring is just around the corner (believe it!).
Spring isn't just the time to spring clean your home; it can also be time to shake the winter dust out of your relationship. Here are ten ways you can refresh your relationship and celebrate spring.
- Sleep In: Though I'm a big fan of keeping to regular sleep schedules no matter what day it is, make an exception in the coming weeks and sleep in together as your body adjusts to the new time. Take some time to linger in bed, cuddle and have a little morning sex. It also allows you to begin the day with a physical and emotional connection.
- Apologize: If you've been short tempered or started fights over nothing important, put on your big girl panties and apologize. Even if you feel your partner started most of the fights, it never hurts to say "I'm sorry and I love you."
- Refresh (or Create) A Couple's Vision: After a long winter, it's the perfect time to talk about and create a Couple's Vision. How would you envision your ideal relationship? How would you feel? What would you be doing? (Need help? Check out this article on how to create a vision.)
- Create a Love Jar: Here's what you do: get a big jar (or bowl) and drop in slips of paper with compliments and love notes abound. Anytime your partner does something romantic, kind, or endearing, write it down. Pick a date when you’re going to read them together — like your anniversary, each other's birthday, or next winter's first snowfall. It's a great way to collect memories about those little moments in your life together. When you look for positive interactions, you're less likely to focus on the crankiness!
- Spring Clean…Together: Clutter saps energy meant to go to our relationships, so why not work together to fix it? Help each other cull clothes that don't fit and appliances that don’t work. Go through your books or DVDs and organize them (or ditch what you don't love). Tending your home together helps you bond.
- Romanticize Your Bedroom: After the spring cleaning is done, take some time to make your bedroom feel inviting and romantic. Clear away unnecessary knick knacks and bring in candles and fresh flowers. It's also a great time to find alternative places to charge your phones and remove other electronic distractions. Bedrooms are for sleeping, cuddling, and sex.
- Plan a Sexy Weekend at Home: Put a little time in planning a fun and sexy weekend together. Send the kids to your mom's and set aside the time to reconnect. Go out for a romantic dinner. Light candles. Take a bubble bath together. Buy some new lingerie that makes you feel amazing. Eat breakfast naked. Make love morning, noon and night!
- Work Out Together: Sweating together is a great way to spend time with your partner while caring for yourself. It also allows you to leave a workout feeling more cooperative and will remind you that you have shared goals for this life together. There's also the bonus of some spicy endorphins and it can be a real power trip for the relationship.
- Dine Al Fresco: Let's face it: food is sexy. As soon as the temps warm up, seek out a sidewalk café for lunch and people watch together. Better yet, get your deck or patio in shape so you can eat your family meals outdoors.
- Start a Winter Getaway Fund: Wouldn’t it be nice to sneak away for a weekend? If you set aside a little cash each pay period, it won't be hard on your budget to take a weekend trip next winter. That's a great way to chase away the winter blues and by planning ahead, you'll have something to anticipate! (Bonus: Hotel Sex!)
We're all human and may have been a less-than-stellar partner this winter, spring is about fresh beginnings. Cultivating rituals, new routines, and activities that connect you to your partner, build intimacy and remind you why you fell in love.
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