I know how frustrating it can be to work so hard to improve yourself to attract true love and not see results. I first learned about the law of attraction when I was in my early twenties when my best friend gave me some Louse Hay tapes called “You Can Heal Your Life.” It took such a long time to get my attraction vibe right.
As early as my twenties, I felt lost and frustrated with my love life. The men I adored couldn’t care less about me and the ones that were so available turned me off. When I learned that my thoughts created my life I was so empowered. I found so much comfort falling asleep every night to the voice of Louise Hay telling me, “I love you.” I felt like I was cradled in love by a divine mother.
More from YourTango: Pop Your Comfort Bubble & Open Up To Love
Just knowing the power of positive thinking was only the first step. The more I learned the more frustrated and confused I was with how to train my mind to attract my love. I really tried to get it right, but I always felt like a failure. I turned on myself every time a man left me, wondering what was wrong with me. Then I would go off again desperately trying to fix myself so that I could be lovable enough for a relationship. The harder I tried, it seemed the deeper in despair I became that anything would ever change. I was suffering from extreme manifrustration.
The truth is that you are always manifesting, the challenge is to direct your power to what you want versus what you fear. Manifrustration happens when you focus on what is not happening, that it will never change and that there is something wrong with you because you should have gotten results already. Your mind is primarily visualizing the worst case scenario and replaying it out in the world, giving you the same non-love result over and over like a bad pop song.
More from YourTango: The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner
The ego will use your lack of results to feed off those toxic ideas that you are not good enough, pretty enough, lovable enough and pull you deeper into the habit of self-deprecation. Being angry at yourself or others only makes this loop of creation worse. You are having faith in failure and creating more of it. You may even begin to forget why you wanted a relationship in the first place, but just want to find a man (or woman) to prove that you are good enough to silence that mean voice in your head.
You are either moving deeper into fear or moving toward hope but you never stay stagnant. The external world is also moving and constantly changing. You must look at your current experience as temporary and changeable in order to break the habit of thinking that keeps you stuck in an endless loop of loneliness. Find a way to jump off of the fear highway that is taking you away from love and have the discipline to focus on the new possibility even when everything out there seems like it isn’t working.