You're Never Too Old For True Love!


Relationship Expert: Are You Too Old For Love?
She's convinced she'll become a crazy cat lady!
Afraid you're too old for love? Find out how to let go of deadlines.

Every holiday season brings about anticipation for the new year. But it isn't all exciting: For single people, the upcoming year, or the thought of celebrating another birthday alone, can cause a great deal of stress and pressure to find "the one" before they get any older. Do you have a love deadline based on your age?

Just like the number on the scale when you are trying to lose weight, the number you put a relationship deadline on brings a heavy emotional weight when searching for your true love. Almost everyone measures worth and attractiveness for themselves and others based on age. But why do we do this?

More from YourTango: Turn Your Holiday Blues Into Real Love

I remember being so depressed on my twenty-fifth birthday. I felt like an old maid. Little did I know that every year from then on, I would experience the same stress to find a husband. The pressure only increased each year and deepened my belief that my time had passed, I was too old for love, and that I may have to settle for someone I wasn't attracted to just so I didn't have to be alone anymore. Sound familiar?

When did NOT settling mean that you must somehow be broken, just because you didn't get married in your twenties?  Is it better to be at least married and divorced than to never be married? The biggest fear was that I would end up being an "ungathered rose" for the rest of my life, as my sister's boyfriend affectionately called me.

I speak to women and men of all ages all the time. No matter what age they are, from 25 to 85, they all seem to think they are too old for love. As a single person in the high-tech world, the age reminder is right in front of you, as you date online, like a tattoo on your forehead. You may not even look at a profile if they aren't in the "right" age bracket. 

Aging is a part of life and often regarded as the criteria we all choose a partner but never admit it openly. Is there a perfect age for love? No way, because love is beyond the body; it is something unseen. You don't fall in love with someone's number on their birth certificate... you connect with their heart that is truly ageless. If you jump into a marriage to beat the clock, you may settle for less or get bored with your choice as you grow spiritually.

With each passing decade, my tastes changed and matured as to what I truly wanted because I became more conscious of my true self. In my twenties, I just wanted the cute and fun guy. In my thirties, I wanted the yogic, spiritual guy — and didn't care if he had any ambition. When I reached forty and started my own business, I realized I wanted balance between attraction, consciousness and success. I am so glad I didn't settle for what I begged for in my twenties or thirties!

The more you know yourself, the better chances you have of going through decades and growing together instead of growing apart. I have met people in their forties who are still dating like they are in junior high, and twenty-somethings with maturity and awareness that blows me away. So instead of putting the pressure on finding someone before you are 30, 40, 50 or 60, why not set your goal to growing your own consciousness and finding a match that fits your spiritual maturity instead of your biological maturity?

Get the 3 Keys to Love in 2014 with this Free MP3 Love Download from Debi Berndt

If you don't judge people by their age, you will find that potential dates won't judge you on yours. You will begin to seek partners beyond their body and surface personality, and connect to a deeper love that is available. If you have to wait a little longer to find each other, it will be worth the wait to have a love that lasts. You will be at the perfect age for love.

More from YourTango: For A Committed Relationship, Tap Into Your Confidence

More love advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

Pop Your Comfort Bubble & Open Up To Love


Are you afraid of being alone and single? Do you wonder if the search for true love will ever be over? Do you obsess over the idea, "what if I never meet anyone?" Most singles say being alone scares them and they fear never meeting that special person. The unconscious mind, however, is always moving you away from what you fear and trying to keep you ... Read more

The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner


Do you keep attracting the non-committal man or woman? You can see a pattern, but feel like the cause is outside of you. You blame your love problems on or the city that you live in or the men or women your age, but the reason you don't have your true partner isn't about any of those things. The answer for your loneliness is unconscious and, ... Read more

Turn Your Holiday Blues Into Real Love


Some people love the holidays for everything from the joyful jingles and decorations to the shopping and festivities. But when I was single, the holidays were not so jolly. If you are like me, you probably want to just hibernate until January 2nd. I used to think my life (and happiness) was on hold until Mr. Right came along. What I didn't realize was that ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts

3 Ways to Define Who You Want To Be

Sometimes the best way to know who you want to be is to notice how you react in the here and now.

Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>