When I was 26 years old, I attended an inspiring workshop for women given by a man about men and relationships. This was before that mars book came out so it was totally new information for me. I left empowered thinking that I had all the knowledge and I would finally be able to have a great relationship – I had figured men out.
Still single fifteen years later, I realized just knowing about men and how to act was not the key to my success in love. I had the rules down, I knew how to flirt and I was an online dating master. There was never a shortage of men in my life but the problem was that I was following rules to attract an average unconscious guy who wasn’t my ideal match, not my extraordinary love.
What turned my love life around wasn’t learning the secrets of men in general, but to get to know just one man – my Inner Adam™. This powerful part of your psyche is like a file that keeps all of your interactions with the opposite sex, starting with your father, brothers, uncles, male classmates, first love, and all romantic relationships. Once I transformed this inner man to match my ideal of love, I was able to attract my ideal partner who mirrored what I truly wanted.
Everyone is different and there can be no rule that fits all men or all women. Some dating advice is for the people who aren’t looking for a conscious relationship. There is nothing wrong with just wanting the ordinary marriage, but you are probably not one of those people who fall into a one-size-fits-all dating category. You are unique and amazing and your ideal partner is just like you – extraordinary.
Men have an Inner Eve™ that brings them their perfect match like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together. You think you are attracted to someone because of his or her looks or personality, but the truth is that you are unconsciously drawn to their inner opposite as they are to you. Each puzzle piece is different and as complex as the human mind.
Most relationships do not last or are filled with drama because these two unconscious parts are related to each other with all of their unmet needs and emotional imbalances. People are typically drawn by this “chemistry” which is not actually love but the explosion of hurt and pain can be very powerful and often disguised as romantic feelings. You cannot change these unmet needs by having a great online profile or acting appropriately on dates so the man calls you again. For true love, you have to dive a little deeper.
When I changed my relationship with my father, it was such a deep change in dynamics that it blew apart the old paradigm of my Inner Adam. Instead of fearing emotional intimacy with men, I was able to open my heart with honest, direct communication and have the experience of having them acknowledged. It felt to me like my little girl finally got that hug from her daddy that she yearned for her entire life. I was unconsciously seeking this approval from every man and now the perpetual cycle of heartache was broken.
By changing my Inner Adam, I was then led through a series of empowering choices to say goodbye to the Mr. Wrongs of my life and I met Roberto, my ideal love, less than two months later. If I had known this was the key, I would have started here instead of wasting all those years on surface dating advice.
No matter how many heartaches you have encountered or how long you have been single, you can change your Inner Adam so that you can attract a man with an ideal Inner Eve. You don’t have to take years of self-help to figure this out, you can go deep and transform in a very short amount of time.
I have a free downloadable lecture and meditation called Awaken Your Inner Adam on my website or you can simply look at the pattern of relationships you had with men to date see the common factors which represent your inner adam. You can go into meditation and call in your Inner Adam and work with him to transform that inner relationship.
You can start understanding the unique relationship you have with every man in your life and the pattern will emerge for you. Once aware of your Inner Adam, you can use visualization and aligned action such as facing your fears to break apart the old schema and start rewiring yourself for a healthy, loving relationship with a man.
True love is filled with emotions and passions but also from the truth of you who are instead of reacting to old patterns that you were trained to act by your family members. You are not destined to repeat these patterns unless you choose to let them be. You have the power to awaken the perfect essence of you and design the love that you choose.
This article was originally published at
. Reprinted with permission from the author.