Finding love is more than just thinking positive.
Ever since the law of attraction extravaganza began, singles finally felt they could control the arrival of their soul mate with positive thinking. Instead of depending on fate, they could just adjust their thoughts, visualize Mr. or Ms. Right, and love would appear. After a few months or years of trying, they would get discouraged thinking that the law of attraction wasn’t working for them. What I learned from using this process is that there is much more to it than just putting your thought out to the universe.
I thought I was ready with over twenty years of personal development under my belt. I changed my subconscious in hypnotherapy school and was seeing a huge improvement in my confidence and the attention I received from men. I had my vision board, listened to my attract love audio every night, read my man list and kept dating, but where was he?
I grew extremely impatient with the unfairness of the universe as I watched others who did less work than me get engaged and have babies. I felt like a helpless case and had a pity party at every wedding and engagement celebration I attended. I deserve love too, damn it! The bigger problem is that I thought I was done with working on myself. After twenty years, I was sick and tired of processing my stuff and felt there was nothing else I could do.
Right before I met Roberto, I decided to take a workshop on a whim to learn some new tools to practice with my clients, not really thinking I needed any more work myself. During that weekend I faced something powerful…my comfort zone. I was feeling a strong resistance to fully participating in some of the exercises and immediately knew this was the reason why I was still stuck.
Although I did lots of different realtionship dating techniques to fix my love problem, I never gave anything enough time to work and quickly jumped to something else to make it happen. Skimming the surface, I avoided going too deep (although I didn’t realize it at the time). I would read the dating books but never did any of the exercises. I was comfortable with doing just enough.
Since I never fully committed to the work, I continued to attract surface relationships that didn’t last. The only men I attracted were the ones who wouldn’t fully be there for me because I couldn’t be there for myself. I kept attracting my comfort zone and I didn’t even know it. Even after all these years of searching, I was afraid of love…my Love Switch™ was still off.
I knew that if I didn’t face this head on I would always be avoiding a healthy relationship. With an incredible amount of courage, I faced an uncomfortable conversation with my Dad and ended all of my boy-toy flings. I broke through the status quo into the real me and, in less than three months, I met my true love.
You can, of course, find a typical relationship at any time. You can even get engaged, married and have a few kids. Some of you may have even gone that route already. You can settle for the lowest hanging fruit, but deep inside there is probably something telling you that you want more than that. If you are brave enough, you can climb past your fears and get the rarest, sweetest fruit at the top.
The path to extraordinary love is the road less traveled. Taking a detour around the obstacles within you just prolongs the arrival of “the one.” The people who are most successful in attracting their ideal mate are the ones who are humble enough continue to push through to do what it takes even after they think they have done it all. They trust that God/Universe is taking care of the hard stuff and they allow the process to unfold for their highest good.
It is easy for me to look back now and see it so clearly but, at the time, it was incredibly frustrating and painful. Is there something you are doing or not doing that is holding you back from allowing love in? How are you staying in your comfort zone waiting? A second look changed my love destiny immediately and it can also happen that fast for you. If you are willing to take another look, you may be surprised at what you discover and how you are the one who’s been in control all along.