5 Tips to manage the holidays when you are single

By

5 Tips to manage the holidays when you are single
Wish January 2nd would come already? Here are some tips to help you get through happy family season.

I know this time of year is the worse time to be single. Whether you just got out of a painful relationship or have been single for years, the holidays are just not very jolly when you are alone. Surrounded by all the happy couples your mind will quickly assume that they have so much more than you and that your life is awful. While you wade through the holiday garland and festivities, here are some tips to keep your chin up and maybe even get a date for New Year’s eve.

1. Don’t judge yourself based on your social status. So many people feel “less than” others because they are single. Coupled people are not gifted with greatness they are just in a different place. When you really get to know them, you realize that their life has challenges as well.


2. Focus on the good you have in your life. Being a part of a happy couple is not the end of life’s problems. I know a large part of your life may feel empty, but there are many others who are suffering that have much less than you. Be grateful that you have a job, your health or even had a meal today. Start with the small things and soon you will find many reasons for being blessed right now.

3. Get into the “person in love” mode. Your life will bring you what you believe. If you keep seeing yourself as a lonely, single person, then that is what your experience will be. Start fooling your inner mind that you are already a person in love. How would you act, dress or feel if you were a person who has met the love of their life? Pretend with internal visualization and watch how your circumstances in the outer world begin to shift.


4. Remember that your situation is temporary. Life is always changing and just because you haven’t met your dream person up until today, there is absolutely no reason why you couldn’t meet him or her this afternoon or later this week. Keep the attitude as if your wonderful someone is on their way to you right now and you will soon see that come to fruition.


5. Give. When you really want love in your life, the best thing you can do is give it away. Send love and good intentions to those you pass in the street, even those annoying couples who seem to be everywhere in front of you. When you start to discover that there is so much love inside of you, you begin to shift the energy of what you attract. By sending out bitterness toward the holiday and happy people, you only get more of that back. Imagine spending the entire day sending love and attending a holiday party feeling so full of love instead of desperate for it. It has been said that in giving, you receive.

A month before I met my boyfriend I was dreading the holidays and wondering how I would get through without going into deep depression. I started taking new actions and continued to focus on possibilities and I met him the week before Thanksgiving. You never know when your person is going to appear in your life so don’t keep creating your future based on your past. In a New York minute, anything can change.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt

Author

Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

Afraid You'll Never Find Love? Get Over It

By

Do you feel that no matter what you do, nothing seems to work out for you in your love life? The years are passing and you fear that you will be spending the rest of your life alone. Sometimes the fear is so great that you break down and get triggered after a bad date or someone you liked fell away. Your fearful ego is driving your efforts and, instead of ... Read more

Always Getting Rejected? 3 Ways To Love Yourself Anyway

By

You hear people tell you, "you have to love yourself first," before someone will love you. This common self-help quote didn't help me much. I tried to love myself. I took confidence workshops and I said my affirmations, but when someone I liked stopped calling, my positive thoughts turned into self-hate again. I thought, "What is wrong with ... Read more

Pop Your Comfort Bubble & Open Up To Love

By

Are you afraid of being alone and single? Do you wonder if the search for true love will ever be over? Do you obsess over the idea, "what if I never meet anyone?" Most singles say being alone scares them and they fear never meeting that special person. The unconscious mind, however, is always moving you away from what you fear and trying to keep you ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.