Magic will happen in your relationship when you decide to take action to improve communication!
Welcome back to 7 Secrets To Mastering Communication
SECRET #3 – Decide To Become A Master Communicator
“Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” C.S. Lewis
I can remember being really annoyed with my husband sometimes and having that inner voice say, “Don’t say that!” And then, of course, I said exactly that! Can you relate? Of course, I didn't know much about Mastering Communication then!
How often do you catch yourself regretting a conversation and wishing that you'd handled it differently? When we let our emotions get in the way, feel defensive, afraid or get caught off guard, it’s so easy to lose our cool and say exactly what we know we shouldn’t say! Effective communication when we are stuck in "The Ugh Syndrome" or "The Boxing Glove Syndrome." You've probably already realized that whining and anger just don't yield the results you want.
Often, because we didn't have the best role models of ideal communicators, we repeat the conversational styles we grew up with and can't figure out why we feel unheard, discouraged, needy, guilty, bitchy and a multitude of other emotions that get in the way of competent,authentic and confident communication. If we came from a family of champions of conflict avoidance and were taught that little girls should always be nice then we may very well need to reclaim or voice and learn to speak our truth.
Alternatively, if your grew up in a family where shouting, sarcasm, judging and snide condescending remarks were the conversation MO you may automatically respond in that way, too. The intellectual pursuit of mastering communication will only get you so far.
The good news is all of that Mastering Communication will happen with Secret #3 which is to decide that you want to be a Master Communicator. With dedication, perseverance and these 6-Steps To Becoming a Master Communicator, you’ll be able to shed old habits and replace them with new ones.
6-StepsTo Becoming A Master Communicator
- Decide that you are committed to adapting new communication skills and habits.
- What is your personal image of you as a Master Communicator? What are the qualities and traits you have? Brainstorm your beliefs, values, attitudes and anything else you can think of. Maybe you have a real person in mind whose communication style you admire. What do you appreciate about them?
- Pick a few that come closest to the Master Communicator you want to be. On separate cards or post-its, write an affirmation using those qualities. For example, “I am focused and present in my conversations.” Place them in a spot where you see them regularly. You can also program reminders in your calendar.
- Each day set your intention to be the Master Communicator that you want to be, the one you described and decided to be. Pay close attention to your communication and the shifts you feel in your mind, body and spirit and take note of them in a journal.
- What kind of results will you see as you raise your level of communication skills?
- Reward yourself for sticking with it! Remember that you have decided to embark on an organic journey of communication transformation. It's a process not an event so be gentle on yourself if you still regret an awkward conversation.
Congratulations for deciding to take action to become a Master Communicator!
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To Your Communication Mastery!
If you're frustrated at not being heard, feel like your needs are not being met or you say "Yes" when you really want to say "No" then you should definitely contact me today about my innovative online Compatibility Index. In less than 60 minutes, I can tell you exactly why you are struggling in your conversations and give you tips and strategies for improving communication.