Screaming and Swearing
When did it become acceptable to scream and swear at your spouse, this is one of the worst forms of communication that takes place in a marriage?
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When couples resort to screaming, yelling and swearing at each other the respect and the foundation of the marriage will deteriorate. A spouse under no circumstance has the right to treat the other person in that manner. The end result of this type of communication is that the person who is being screamed at will eventually become numb to their spouse and all of the love, affection and respect they had for each other will vanish. When two people disrespect each other in this way neither persons point will be heard and there will be no resolution to the problem.
Being a Bully
Screaming and swearing is a part of being a bully and trying to dominate and control the other person in the marriage. The person doing the screaming may think that they have gotten the other person to change or agree with them but the truth is that they just bullied the other spouse and forced them into a corner. No one likes to be screamed at or called names; the person who uses this type of communication usually has low self esteem and a lack of proper communication skills.
Changing your spouses behavior will not work you must start with your own to save your marriage
When there is a problem in the marriage and it is causing the marriage to fail, one or both of the spouses will often look to the other spouse to change in the situation.
Stop Taking The Abuse
If your spouse treats you in this manner then you must put a stop to it, this is unacceptable behavior and must not be tolerated.
The screaming may be a man at a woman, but the truth is that there are many wives that also bully their husbands.
How do we change a marriage in which a spouse screams, calls name and puts you down?
The answer is you walk away from them, you leave the house, you pack your bags and you go. Unless you change the way in which you respond to them they will continue to bully you. You have to stand up for yourself and not allow this to happen. Many times a spouse will justify this behavior and say that the person can’t control or it or that they have a short temper, or other excuses that they can think of. The truth is that most people can control their temper, but they choose not to because they have been allowed to get away with the bad behavior.
One way to prove this scenario that they do indeed have control is:
Ask yourself these questions:
Ddo they fly off the handle at work?
Do they act this way around friends?
Do they act this way in public?
Have you seen them control their temper?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then the spouse that is bullying you can control their temper they are just choosing not to around you.
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If your spouse truly can’t control their temper then, you need to leave and stay with someone safe, that is a person who has allowed themselves to be out of control and may become violent, this is more prevalent in a spouse that gets angered after drinking or is taking drugs.
Most people are able to control themselves if expected to.