This may be an eye opening title for many couples but there is a growing number of married couples who have ventured into the wold of cuckolding. The term cuckold is very old and when applied to a situation it can vary between couples. Usually it is the man who wants to have his wife involved in this type of relationship, but some of the time it is the woman. This type of open relationship can be very exciting for some couples or for some destroy the marriage.
As a sex therapist (clinical sexologist) and relationship counselor I help people to navigate through relationship issues and come up with ways that both people can be happy in their marriage. To partake in the cuckold relationship it is not just about the sex but more about the erotic psychological release that takes over the sexual situation. It seems to go against our human nature to imagine our wife having sex with another man and getting enjoyment from watching it.
How does one get to the point where they find this to be an exciting part of their sex life?
Understanding why some men find the cuckolding marriage so exciting.
One running thread that I find as a therapist working with men and couples is the idea of the man pleasing his wife. Many times the man may feel that he cannot physically please his wife because of erectile issues, penis size or the fact that he feels a lager penis is what she needs and he can't provide it. He derives great pleasure from hearing that his wife has orgasms from this other man but she still fancies her husband as the main man she loves and adores. One of the down falls of this set up or this type of relationship is if the wife actually starts to become emotionally connected to one of these men, then the whole idea of the husband being the man that she loves is destroyed.
In some marriage the cuckolding can be a very psychological type of sexual fetish so to speak, involving denial of the mans orgasm, punishment, and even humiliation. When looking at the true psychology behind the sexual thrill of the cuckold experience from a man's perspective it can get quite complicated, as he delves deeper into his fantasies and fetishes.
In simplifying the nature of the relationship it is always best for the couple to set some boundaries and talk about what it may feel like to get involved in the cuckold life style. One of the best ways to understand how it may feel or test the water, is to do simple role play just between the couple. Acting out what it may feel like to have another person involved in the sexual act by using sex toys, videos and erotic role play is one way to test the waters without falling in head first.