People often ask me what real love means to me, so I thought it was time to give them an answer.
There's nothing better than just spending time on the beach and relaxing. I live in L.A and we have tons of beaches there, but nothing is better than getting out the city for a while. There's nothing like taking the time to connect with friends and loved ones, instead of stressing over some date that went wrong or a guy who didn't call you back.
Right now, I'm in East Hampton with my brother, his wife and their little boy. It's so amazing for me to see my brother grown up and finally the dad he always dreamt of being. It's beautiful how he's become the father we never had growing up. We learned a long time ago that part of life is forgiving the past. It is just as important as figuring out who you are and what you want from life.
You see, we grew up in a tumultuous household. We had a mother and father that were complete disconnected from the world around them. They did the best job they could with us, of course. But there were many things in their past that caused the disconnect. It's really made me see love in a different way.
People ask me to define real love all the time. This is what I tell them. Real love gives you the strength to hope when there isn't any. Real love makes you want to contribute even more and to become a better person than you are today. Real love is allowing your loved ones to be who they really are and supporting them no matter what.
The trouble is that so many relationships out there, whether they're parent/child, friend/friend or husband/wife, are so constricting. Too many people try to turn others into who they want them to be, rather than letting them be who they are. You should always allow people to be who they really are. Allow them to grow into the amazing being they're supposed to be.
Relationships should never be constricting. You should never try to change someone into who you think they should be. You should never try to fix someone. Real love has no restrictions. Real love allows you to be who you want to be. Think about every relationship in your life, friends, family and lovers. Do you listen to them completely? Do you allow them to share themselves with you 100%? Do you take the time to hear what they want to tell you.
Too many of us react too quickly when people talk, instead of taking the time to listen. The next time someone comes to talk to you, realize they have something they chose to share with you and nobody else at that moment. Allow them to express themselves with you freely.
To love freely is letting someone be who they are. If you don't like who they are, then you have a decision to make. Do you want to be with them or not? If you don't, let them be free. Stop expecting people to change for you and stop trying to crush their character.
I do this with my little girl now. I don't expect her to be anything than the amazing child she is. Whatever she wants to share with me. Whether it's a story about Ana from Frozen, or Ariel from The Little Mermaid, I go with whatever she offers me. We should do that in all our relationships.
Allow your partner to be. Just support, flow and guide, just as water does to a boat. If you're not doing that, you're not showing real love. You have to let the people you love flourish. Guide, nourish and care for those you love and you'll be amazed how much more powerful love can be.