I want to ask you a question: Do you feel like your age reduces the number of men you can date?
I know when I ask men this question, some will say, "Hell man. I'm 62 years old, but if I could date any age, I'd be dating 20 year old girls." I have found that women aren't as confident. But here's the thing: Age is just a number and it means absolutely nothing. Your age certainly shouldn't make you eliminate a potential date before you even talk to them.
Here's an example. A woman named Marie emailed me the other day. She told me she has a crush on a guy who works in the same office as her, and he's in his thirties. The trouble is, Marie is terrified of making any sort of move on him. In fact, no matter how much she likes him, and even though he obviously flirts with her, she is scared her age will put him off. But she's only in her forties! She won't even attempt to connect with this guy romantically because she's a little older than he is. So instead of enjoying herself, and enjoying having fun with this man, she's eliminated herself because SHE decided the age gap would put him off.
If a man is interested in you, your age won't bother him one bit. If a man and woman are attracted to each other, it doesn't matter whether there's a little age gap. I don't care if you're in your fifties and the guy is in his twenties. It doesn't make a difference because attraction has no barriers. If two people desire each other, it shouldn't matter how old each of them are.
Attraction is a feeling, and you can't rationalize a feeling based on how old someone is. Think about that for a second. Attraction is something you feel immediately when you see someone. Your brain is the thing that starts trying to argue with your heart. It's your brain that suddenly starts firing all the excuses at you.
"We had a moment between us but I'm too old for them. They won't want to date someone as old as me. I'm too scared to see what they'll say when they find out how old I am." We all use these excuses because we're afraid of rejection. Most of us live in "Excuseville."
We're afraid of finding out the truth, so we come up with any explanation we can as to why we can't make something happen. The reality is humans hate being vulnerable, and that's what it all comes down to. I know I've said it before but it needs saying again. The only way you can find love is to make yourself vulnerable.
What if Marie in her forties flirted a little more with this guy in his thirties? What if Marie gave this guy a signal or two, so he knew she was interested? What if they went out on a few dates and eventually fell madly in love with each other?
It could happen right?
But the only way things like that can ever happen to you is if you get the root of your fears, and then eliminate them. Attraction doesn't know age, only your brain knows age. Age is another limit we put on our life for no reason. Don't let your fear hold you back.
Start coming out of your comfort zone, and don't try to second-guess how someone feels about your age. If a man is attracted to the way you look, then he's attracted to you full stop. When he finds out you're ten years older than him, you don't suddenly turn into a hideous monster to him.
You are a beautiful, intelligent, nurturing, and loving woman, and men out there would do anything to meet and connect with you. They don't care about your age if they are attracted to you. Don't let age stand in the way of your life. I've seen so many amazing men and women in their seventies finding love for the first time in their life, so there's really no excuse.
You're a person, not a set of numbers on a birth certificate!
For more dating advice for women, check out David's blog.
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