How To Spice Up Your Relationship


How To Spice Up Your Relationship
Does the relationship need to be spiced up or is it too stale?

I get this e-mail from women all the time:

“How do I spice up my relationship?”

Well, I say a little cayenne pepper, throw it all over his body, and lick it up. You’ll be spiced up the entire day.

Or if you have an aversion to licking his entire body full of cayenne pepper, here are some other ways to spice up a relationship.

Ask yourself if this relationship really needs spicing up, or if you need another relationship?

The reason a lot of relationships go stale, because they’re done. The expiration date is over. They’ve jumped the shark. They’re like a jar of milk in the fridge, with an expiration date that’s way past the date that you actually bought it.

You can’t just spice up a relationship. It has to be spicy right from the get go.

So that’s the first thing you need to ask yourself: was this relationship spicy in the beginning? How long was the sex great for and when did it start to downward spiral?

For how long did you two flirt before making it official?

Spicing up a relationship takes work, but it’s that needs to be had in the first place.

If you had a spicy relationship in the beginning, then just go back to the beginning. Meditate on exactly what worked in the beginning and do it all over again.

We’re men. We’re very simple. We know exactly what we want and if you gave it to us in the beginning, we want it again, over and over again. So if you were spicy, and sexual, and naughty, and fun in the beginning, do it all over again. Do whatever worked in the beginning. If you didn’t have that in the beginning, then you picked the wrong relationship, and there is nothing that’s going to spice it up.

What worked in the beginning, will work again. Trust me, we’re men, we’re simple. We love highlights. If a women repeats the behavior she had in the first 90 days of our relationship, it’ll feel like I’m watching ESPN Sports Center every night—the best of everything during the course of our entire relationship.

So think back to the way it was in the beginning and start doing those things all over again. And your relationship will have the spice back that it’s needed. If you never had that spice, then you’re in the wrong relationship.

More relationship advice from YourTango

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?


Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

What Men Really Think About Your Age


How many of you really feel your age? Right now, I want to ask you a question. Do you feel like your age reduces the number of men you can date? I know when I ask men this question, some will say, “Hell man. I’m 62 years old but if I could date any age, I’d be dating 20 year old girls.” Here’s the thing though ladies. ... Read more

Why You Can't Let One Heartbreak Destroy You


Life is a series of events. I want you to look at that statement, and then I want you to read it again. Life is a series of events. In fact, I want you to read it one more time. Life is a series of events. Read it, and say it aloud to yourself six times. Now that that's lodged firmly in your head, I want to ask you a question. Why does one event traumatize ... Read more

The 5 REAL Reasons Men Are Scared Of Marriage


I've been around the dating industry for 20-odd years now, and I've heard every reason under the sun for why men are scared of marriage. You've probably heard most of them yourself. "Men don’t want to commit because they're not built to stay with one woman. Men won't marry because they would rather spend their lives running round ... Read more

See More


Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.