How To Spice Up Your Relationship


How To Spice Up Your Relationship
Does the relationship need to be spiced up or is it too stale?

I get this e-mail from women all the time:

“How do I spice up my relationship?”

Well, I say a little cayenne pepper, throw it all over his body, and lick it up. You’ll be spiced up the entire day.

Or if you have an aversion to licking his entire body full of cayenne pepper, here are some other ways to spice up a relationship.

Ask yourself if this relationship really needs spicing up, or if you need another relationship?

The reason a lot of relationships go stale, because they’re done. The expiration date is over. They’ve jumped the shark. They’re like a jar of milk in the fridge, with an expiration date that’s way past the date that you actually bought it.

You can’t just spice up a relationship. It has to be spicy right from the get go.

So that’s the first thing you need to ask yourself: was this relationship spicy in the beginning? How long was the sex great for and when did it start to downward spiral?

For how long did you two flirt before making it official?

Spicing up a relationship takes work, but it’s that needs to be had in the first place.

If you had a spicy relationship in the beginning, then just go back to the beginning. Meditate on exactly what worked in the beginning and do it all over again.

We’re men. We’re very simple. We know exactly what we want and if you gave it to us in the beginning, we want it again, over and over again. So if you were spicy, and sexual, and naughty, and fun in the beginning, do it all over again. Do whatever worked in the beginning. If you didn’t have that in the beginning, then you picked the wrong relationship, and there is nothing that’s going to spice it up.

What worked in the beginning, will work again. Trust me, we’re men, we’re simple. We love highlights. If a women repeats the behavior she had in the first 90 days of our relationship, it’ll feel like I’m watching ESPN Sports Center every night—the best of everything during the course of our entire relationship.

So think back to the way it was in the beginning and start doing those things all over again. And your relationship will have the spice back that it’s needed. If you never had that spice, then you’re in the wrong relationship.

More relationship advice from YourTango

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Looking forward to speaking with you!


Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

Why Aren't You Married? Because You Date Like A Toddler!


So many of you ask me, "David, why can't I find a decent guy to settle down with and marry? It's not fair." Today I'm going to answer that question once and for all. First, let me ask you a question; have you spent time with a kid around toddler age? Not only do toddlers live in a world full of imagination, but they're also extremely ... Read more

Let Go Of Your "Fairytale": Why You Have To Let Him Go!


Lately it seems I've written a lot about the importance of surrendering to what life gives us. It's something I feel very strongly about, and I know it's a concept that could change your lives for the better. What is it all about? Well, I've been in the dating business for two decades, and during that time, I've seen my part in the ... Read more

Why You Can't Let One Heartbreak Destroy You


Life is a series of events. I want you to look at that statement, and then I want you to read it again. Life is a series of events. In fact, I want you to read it one more time. Life is a series of events. Read it, and say it aloud to yourself six times. Now that that's lodged firmly in your head, I want to ask you a question. Why does one event traumatize ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Om Girl

Waiting with Intention

Whether you are waiting to adopt or for the relationship of your dreams, waiting can be HARD.

Cocktail Lady

Pick The Right Guy Why Hot Guys Don't Last

How to tell the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Last Night. Find out when you're getting warm.

Gay Dating

7 Things I've Learned About Men As a Matchmaker

You'll be surprised to see which myths about men have been busted!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>