How A Married Man's Friendships With Single Women Become Affairs

By

How A Married Man's Friendships With Single Women Become Affairs

In my 15 years of coaching, women have come to me over and over again with the same problem: falling for a married man.

 

 

The stories always begin the same way: "There's this guy... he's soo great! We connect in every way and he makes my heart flutter like a schoolgirl. I know, I know... he's married. But we've only gone on a couple of innocent dates..." Then, the guy makes his move.

From the beginning, he just tells you what a great friend you are and he tells you how nice it is to finally have someone he can talk to. You eat it up, thinking to yourself, Yes, talking. That's all we're doing... But then he finally does what he's wanted to do for a long while -- he makes his move.

 

Of course, he springs it upon you ever so slyly, making you feel really special, making you feel unique. He'll say things like, "Wow, my wife just doesn't listen to me like you listen to me," or, "She just doesn't understand me. And it's really nice to be with a woman that does."

He will tell you this over a glass of Tempranillo, as he looks longingly into your eyes, sweetly brushing a stray hair from your face. It's kryptonite for the nurturing woman.

And sure, on the surface he looks like the All-American dad; on the surface, he looks like a great husband; on the surface, he tells everybody that it's OK that his marriage isn't passionate -- he's grown so much as an individual that he doesn't need wild, fulfilling sex anymore.

He'd rather have somebody that would be a great mother than someone with great passion because 'passion dies.'

 

He's convinced himself of this.

And it's sad, because he's convinced himself that he's in a relationship that he wants.

But he's not. He's sad, he's lonely, and he sees you as an opportunity for escape.

So, how do you spot this guy right from the beginning? Well, he's usually the guy you meet who immediately wants to be your "friend." Yet, these men aren't just friends with women. They're only friends with women they're attracted to. Because that's how it starts -- with a mental affair. He'll frame your interaction as business, like, "Hey, let's have a business dinner," or "Hey, let's grab a drink after work." He'll flirt with you in ways that seem all so innocent. But let me tell you something: It's not. Because this so-called "happily married man" is not happy.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?

David

www.davidwygant.com

Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

3 Great Ways To Show Thanks

By

As we head into Christmas -- unreal, isn't it? I said last January, this year would fly by. It felt like it was going to be one of those really fast years, and it was. Let me ask you a serious question. I want you to be as honest as you possibly can, because you're only answering to yourself. Was this year as spectacular as it could have ... Read more

How To Give Yourself The Gift Of Happiness This Christmas

By

Every day I wake up, and I use a magical trick to know how to be happy. Since it's the holiday time, I will share some of my inner Santa Clause with all of you. I've recently been meditating in the morning when I wake up.  Part of meditation is to set an intention for the day. It's funny, because meditation to me is sitting there in a chair ... Read more

Is Your Past Keeping You Single? Stop Making THIS Same Mistake

By

We all have stories we consistently tell—it could be the story about your childhood, your teenage years and how you were unpopular or popular, or relationships you had when you were younger and what went wrong. It could also be the story of your divorce, your job, a failed business, the car, or the house that got away. We live our life telling ... Read more

See More

 
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular