How A Married Man's Friendships With Single Women Become Affairs

By

How A Married Man's Friendships With Single Women Become Affairs

In my 15 years of coaching, women have come to me over and over again with the same problem: falling for a married man.

 

 

The stories always begin the same way: "There's this guy... he's soo great! We connect in every way and he makes my heart flutter like a schoolgirl. I know, I know... he's married. But we've only gone on a couple of innocent dates..." Then, the guy makes his move.

From the beginning, he just tells you what a great friend you are and he tells you how nice it is to finally have someone he can talk to. You eat it up, thinking to yourself, Yes, talking. That's all we're doing... But then he finally does what he's wanted to do for a long while -- he makes his move.

 

Of course, he springs it upon you ever so slyly, making you feel really special, making you feel unique. He'll say things like, "Wow, my wife just doesn't listen to me like you listen to me," or, "She just doesn't understand me. And it's really nice to be with a woman that does."

He will tell you this over a glass of Tempranillo, as he looks longingly into your eyes, sweetly brushing a stray hair from your face. It's kryptonite for the nurturing woman.

And sure, on the surface he looks like the All-American dad; on the surface, he looks like a great husband; on the surface, he tells everybody that it's OK that his marriage isn't passionate -- he's grown so much as an individual that he doesn't need wild, fulfilling sex anymore.

He'd rather have somebody that would be a great mother than someone with great passion because 'passion dies.'

 

He's convinced himself of this.

And it's sad, because he's convinced himself that he's in a relationship that he wants.

But he's not. He's sad, he's lonely, and he sees you as an opportunity for escape.

So, how do you spot this guy right from the beginning? Well, he's usually the guy you meet who immediately wants to be your "friend." Yet, these men aren't just friends with women. They're only friends with women they're attracted to. Because that's how it starts -- with a mental affair. He'll frame your interaction as business, like, "Hey, let's have a business dinner," or "Hey, let's grab a drink after work." He'll flirt with you in ways that seem all so innocent. But let me tell you something: It's not. Because this so-called "happily married man" is not happy.

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

This article was originally published at Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David Wygant

Dating Coach

Are you ready to finally find love?

David

www.davidwygant.com

Location: Marina Del Rey, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by David Wygant:

7 Reasons Being Single During The Holidays ROCKS

By

The holiday season is fast approaching. Actually, it's here! Can you believe that Thursday is Thanksgiving? That's your first test: Surviving the holiday season single. Let me tell you something; being single during the holiday season is by far the best time for singles. I'm going to explain why. Everyone Is An Emotional Mess: This time ... Read more

Ladies Stop Micro-Managing Him And Let Him Be A Man!

By

If you desire an amazing relationship with a man … If you want to bring out his alpha-male or the king in him … You need to stop micro managing him. (Take this relationship advice) A lot of women do it without realizing it. You do it because you care, but you don't understand how it triggers a man's mind. It can be ... Read more

I Cheated, But The Reasons Why Could Lead To YOUR Happiness

By

There are plenty of reasons men have affairs, I know ... because I've been there. Sometimes we cheat for emotional reasons, and other times it's purely sexual. Often it's other issues, like after starting a family, men sometimes stop seeing their partner as their sexual fantasy because now she's the mother of their kids. Yes, I've ... Read more

See More

 
PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular