It's funny how many times women come to me and say, "David, I'm so frustrated dating. I just don't think I can date anymore."
I'll ask them the reasons why, and a lot of the time they'll come up with, "It's my ex. I can't stop thinking about him."
All they remember is the good times together. They only remember the happy times, not the reasons why the relationship ended.
I call it "Romanticizing The Ex Syndrome".
It's very typical of women who have been single for some time after a breakup. You only think about how good your ex was to you at times. You remember what a wonderful man he was in so many ways. This is fine to a degree. It's beautiful to look at your ex positively. And it's important to consider all the lessons they taught you, but it's vital you realize why you're not with them anymore. Those are the lessons you really need to embrace and pay attention to.
We tend to romanticize the ex when we're going through a rough patch of dating. It's what I call the cry of a lonely girl. You date someone new but it doesn't work out, so you start to think about your ex. You have a period where you don't meet any quality men, and before you know it, you're remembering all the good times you had in your last relationship.
Don't let yourself get carried away with those thoughts. You're just going through a dry spell. You have to get over your ex before you can move on.
So why do these thoughts of past love fly through our minds?
Most the time it's because moving forward scares us. It's a scary proposition moving on from old partners. Moving on means we have to open up our hearts again, and that means a chance of getting hurt. But, you have to get over your ex once and for all. It's the only way you're going to get on with your life and open up to new love. So I want you to think about this today…
How often do you think of your ex? When do you most think of them? How does it make you feel?
You'll find the answers were in this post, but I want you to think of the deeper reasons why you do these things. It'll tell you a lot about where you are in your dating life. I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences. It's something that affects us all at some time in our lives.
If you're struggling to get over a past relationship, you should check out a blog I posted on my website called, "How to get over your ex."
More advice on how to move on from YourTango:
- How To Move On From A Failed Relationship
- 8 Ways To Move On A From A Past Relationship
- Divorce: Expert Advice & Survivial Tips