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Sometimes it feels like any relationship is better than none, but here's why you're best off alone.
Are you a "stick-around-er?"
"What's a 'stick-around-er,' David?" I hear you ask. Well, a "stick-around-er" is someone who stays in a relationship even when it's way past its sell by date.
So many people do this. They get involved in a relationship where, to begin with, the positives and negatives are equal. The thing is, the relationship doesn't truly satisfy their soul, and doesn't make their heart sing. Trouble is, they stay in the relationship because it's better than nothing.
People do this because they invest time in someone. They gave up their home, they bought furniture together and they get on great with each others' kids.
People make a million rationalizations, but when it comes down to it they stay around way too long in relationships that don't make them really happy. The person you're with is never going to change. They're not going to change their habits, who they are or what they're about. People don't change just because you want them to change.
People are who they are. It's funny how people stick around in relationships like a bad stock investor. When I was growing up, my Dad was a really BAD stockbroker. He was obsessed with this company called "Energy Conversion." The stock symbol was ENER. Look it up. Energy was a great stock back in the early 70's. "Energy" was solar-powered calculators, and I think they were the first ones to have the technology back then.
Unfortunately, Hewlett-Packard and Casio had more money, so ENER never really converted into anything. Still my Dad stuck with them. They never brought him the money he thought they would. What was really sad was, before my Dad passed away I visited him at his office, and on the ticker screen in the early 90's was ENER. He was obsessed with that stock. He was a stick-around-er, and look what happened.
You see, the longer you stick around in something, the harder it is to end it. To be successful in anything in life you have to know when to cut your losses, because the longer you stay in something the harder it is to get out.
It's even harder if you have kids and your kid starts to like the person you're with. Your heart has to sing. The problem is stick-around-ers never let their hearts sing. Maybe deep down they think they don't deserve something truly amazing. Every day I get emails from people staying in relationships that just don't work.
I get emails every day from people who are tired with the relationships they're in. You need to look at your partner right now. Look at the person standing in front of you. Look at yourself. You're reading books, going to classes and trying to better yourself. The person you're with is probably content right where they are. The old "what you see is what you get" quote is really the way you need to look at things.
As we get older, we have to realize the person presented in front of us is probably exactly where they want to be in life. If they're happy then there's nothing wrong with that. If they want different things from life, that's their choice. Some people like to sit at home all night and watch TV. You need to realize that this magical journey called life has an expiration date. Why do we spend so much time sticking with things that don't work?
Sure, the person you're with might be amazing, but they're not your Mr. or Mrs. Amazing!
It's time we all took the bull by the horns and realized that kicking around things never really pays off. It didn't pay off for my Dad in the stock market, and it won't pay or for Mr. or Mrs. Stick-Around-er in the relationship market. You can experience so many wonderful people over the course of your lifetime. Find someone who makes your heart sing. Find someone you can connect with in so many different ways.
Good communicators need to be with communicators. Cave men need to be with cave girls. You need to be with someone who satisfies your key relationship points or key relationship needs. They're out there, trust me. I know they are. I wouldn't be in this business if I didn't think they were out there. So please, the next time you stick around something too long, realize it's better to cut your losses than stick around longer!
Want to know where to find the kind of man who can give you everything YOU need, and can make your heart truly sing?