What You Should Do If You're Not Into Dating That Guy

bad boy
Love, Heartbreak

Not every guy that approaches you is going to be your Mr. Right. But how do you let them down easy?

A guy approaches you. You're sitting at a pool, maybe on vacation. Or you're sitting at a bar. Or you're on the street, at a coffee shop, or a super market. It doesn't really matter—wherever it is, a man walks over and he talks to you. You feel nothing. Not a spark at all.

Then, all of the sudden, the dreaded happens. You can't believe where it's coming from. You've been making small talk about the weather. As a matter of fact, this guy opened with the weather and, a minute later, is still talking about the weather. The man has no connection skills or conversation skills! And yet, out of left field, he looks at you and says..."You and I should get together and continue this conversation." In your brain you think to yourself, "THAT was flirting? Why continue this painfully boring, dry conversation another day? I can't believe that this man actually thinks I would go out with him. We haven't connected, he knows nothing about me. As a matter of fact, if I wanted to talk weather, I'd call my mother! She is always good for that conversation."

You're walking down the street and a man stops you. After 30 seconds of talking about how bad the traffic is, he looks at you and says, "I feel a connection with you. Let's go out." You're thinking, "Wait a second. We talked about traffic—what type of connection is there? We both don't like traffic, so...we can sit in a car together and maybe bitch about traffic? That sounds like a wonderful date."

A man walks over to you and immediately just asks for your phone number for no reason at all except the fact that he probably wants to have sex with you. Get the idea? So what do you do when a man is bold and blunt? What relationship advice for women could solve this enduring dilemma? Do you (1) give up a fake phone number? Do you do what a lot of women do, and (2) give out your phone number but ignore his texts when they come rambling in? Or do you just...tell him the truth? Do you look at him and tell him that you have a boyfriend? Oh, that's right, that's lie number 3 in this post. We'll get back to that.

So what do you do to get rid of him? Because in your beautiful, female, caring mind, you'd like to let him down easy. What I'm about to tell you is going to shock you. But why are you going to let this total stranger down easy? Who cares? The fact of the matter is, if you give him your phone number and then ignore his text, you're not letting him down easy. You're getting him mad, and karma and the universe will come back and kick you in the behind. Two months later, you'll be out one night. You'll run into him. You'll see him there. He'll remember you, but immediately, you look at his friend. His friend looks at you. The two of you feel a spark. Unfortunately, the spark will never happen because his friend will go,"Yeah, that's the one that I met a couple of months ago that gave me a fake phone number. Don't bother with her." Giving the phone number and not returning texts or giving a fake phone number will always backfire. And that leads us to lie number three... (3) you tell him you have a boyfriend. But that always backfires too, because the same scenario seems to always happen. You run into him a couple of weeks later. He's with a cute friend, and he tells his friend says, "Yeah, that girl's cute, but she's got a boyfriend." The cute friend who you're looking at never connects with you because he thinks you're taken.

So, how about the authentic, honest truth? What if we just became authentic and honest with one another? No, you don't need to give him a long explanation about how boring he is, or how you'd rather date the weatherman because at least the weatherman gives a five-day forecast instead of pointing out the obvious sunny/cold/rainy weather.  How about just telling him "not interested"? How about telling him you just don't feel it? How about just telling him you're not in the mood to date right now? How about telling him you don't just go out with people you spoke to on the street? How about telling him the truth? It'd be amazing if we lived in a world where everybody told the truth, wouldn't it? We'd all be a little more authentic. Maybe this guy, who walked over to you instead of using a ridiculous pick-up line or some ridiculous approach he read on the Internet, would become more authentic too. Maybe he walked over and said "I really suck at meeting women. Man, I just found you really cute, and I wanted to say 'hi'." If he came at you authentically, maybe you would have been attracted to him in the first place. So why do you need to be the one that's going to create some type of story or some type of lie? Be authentic and honest. It's the only way you're going to connect with a man you're truly attracted to.


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