#1--Don’t separate your spiritual life and sexual life. Married sex is sacred and honorable, and making love is much more than just physical release. There is in intimate spiritual connection with your spouse when you KNOW them
#2 Fill your mind with God’s perspective on sex. Song of Solomon is erotic and sensual and this is godly! In Genesis God commanded husbands and wives to be one flesh. So it is a virtuous thing to regularly and joyfully have sex!
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#3 Evaluate to what level you are inhibited sexually. Maybe it's due to a strict upbringing where sex was taboo. Maybe it's due to guilt over sexual inhibition. Explore the reason for your issues and work through them with God's help and healing so you can be free to enjoy sex.
#4 Come to terms with questionable sexual practices. If you aren't sure if oral or anal is righteous--look it up! The Bible is God revealing Himself to us and we can use it as a guide to all of life. So study and find out!
#5 Remember, you reap what you sow. If you sow a lazy attitude towards sex, you’ll reap a lousy sex-life and harm your marriage. If you sow energy, enthusiasm, and creativity into pleasurable sex, you'll reap a mutually pleasing sex-life and strengthen the intimacy in your marriage.
#6 Wives:Train your husband to turn you on. Subtle hints don't help a lot and often men just don't know what you like and don't like, so be direct: This turns me ON!
#7 Husbands: Train your wife to turn you on. Women are more subtle so be gentle but show her: Touch me HERE--want to try it?
#8 Keep reminding yourself your husband or wife views sex differently than you. Take the time to learn about your spouse's turn offs, turn ons, boundaries, opinions, and views about sex. KNOW them intimately--mind and body. Come to understand them.
#9 Make your marriage truly your number one priority, apart from your relationship to God. Study marriage both in the Bible, but also in wise books like the books in my shop! Learn what your role is; learn what your personality type is and your spouse's personality type; learn what kindles love for you and for your spouse; learn what extinguishes the flame of love for you and for your spouse; and learn your spouse's love language!
#10 Don’t let it get boring. Try new things, new positions, new lotions, new outfits, new games--have fun! Do always do it the same time of day in the same position; sometimes just be silly or have fun tickling each other.
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#11 Buy a book or booklet on marriage, sex and sexual technique on occasion. One book I recommend that is written from an Orthodox Jewish point of view is Kosher Sutra http://bit.ly/blteV9 Kosher sex is beautiful!
#12 Wives: Keep yourself beautiful to your husband. Your beauty is in your eyes, your smile, your lips, your voice. Husbands: Keep yourself handsome for your wife. Your handsomeness is in your eyes, you smile, your lips, your hands, and that distinguished streak as your hair grays a little.