If you struggle in your relationships with men, you probably don't really understand them very well.
The main reason women struggle in their relationships with men is because they simply don't understand them or, at the very least,know how to work with them most effectively. Think about that: half of all marriages end in divorce — and the odds are even more disheartening when you factor in all the relationships that will never even get to the point of an engagement. The tragedy is that this huge gender disconnect is nowhere near as insurmountable as it might appear at first glance. It simply requires a willingness and an openness to learn a better way.
That is why I created a system called the ManMagnetics Formula™ for teaching women how to understand how men think without giving up any of their beautiful femininity in the process. The fact is, men and women navigate the world differently and when you stop seeing that as "a problem" – you'll realize it's actually the solution. Here are just a few of the ways that men and women misunderstand one another...and a simple shift in thinking that might just change your entire life, especially your relationships.
1. Women who don’t "get" men think they’re "insensitive."
Women who KEEP MEN know that his steadiness is a huge asset when it comes to navigating her own emotions.
Masculine energy is all about logic, analysis and using single focus to solve problems and fix things. By contrast, feminine energy relies on emotion, feelings and intuition to navigate and interpret the world. The truth is, that is a perfect complement and between the two of you TOGETHER...there's nothing you can’t solve or overcome.
2. Women who don't "get" men think they just want to take from women.
Women who KEEP MEN know that given half a chance, he desperately wants to serve you and be your hero.
If you want to understand men, you only need to remember the 4 Ps. Masculine energy really only has two gifts to give. Whether he's aware of it or not, a bio-chemically and emotionally healthy man is actually hard-wired to protect and provide for those he loves. If he knows he can please his woman in the process, it's a done deal. Once he hits that trifecta, he will usually proclaim the woman as his own.
3. Women who don’t "get" men think they're afraid to commit.
Women who KEEP MEN understand and aren't threatened by his deep need and yearning for freedom.
A man in his prime is internally driven to live his mission, pursue success and leave his mark on the world. His goal is to get to the top of the proverbial mountain, whatever that means to him. Of course he'll surrender his deep desire for freedom and take you on the journey with him — as long as you to offer him something better and contribute without detracting from the mission. That's why it's critical that you know your value and support him on the journey.
4. Women who don't "get" men think they're obsessed with work.
Women who KEEP MEN know that he can only really feel good about himself if he can be an excellent earner and provider.
Men frequently get labeled as workaholics by the women who feel left behind or insignificant due to a man's internal drive to succeed and achieve on the job. The truth is that all people — male and female — simply do what fills them up and go where they feel successful. A really smart woman knows how to both make a man feel successful at home — and support his need to achieve financially as well. It's not an either/or prospect.
5. Women who don’t "get" men think they’re sex-crazed pigs.
Women who KEEP MEN know that they're often visually stimulated and usually experience love through physical touch.
Feminine energy is wired so that typically she needs to feel loved and adored prior to having sex or opening to intimacy. However, masculine energy most often falls in love after intimacy due to the fact that most men experience love through human touch. Is it different? Absolutely. But is it wrong? Not to a smart woman who understands masculine energy and doesn't feel the need to make it wrong. If she knows her value, she'll make him earn her heart anyway.
6. Women who don’t "get" men think they're aggressive.
Women who KEEP MEN know that their masculine instincts make them even safer due to the fact that a real man will fight to the death to protect them.
As I wrote earlier, one of a man's most sacred gifts is his desire to protect his loved ones. Let me be clear here: I'm not excusing or suggesting that any type of domestic violence is okay in any way. What I am saying is that a man's ability to harness his intensity, focus, aggression and desire to serve something bigger than himself will be critical and very welcome traits in the event of a home invasion or an attack of some kind. Smart women understand that there's a time and a place for everything and it would be a huge mistake to try to blunt your man’s "edge" because it feels scary or "unsafe" to you.
Here’s the bottom line: Too often, masculinity is misunderstood or made wrong — and that is simply tragic. Whether you're raising a son or loving a grown man, I urge you to consider the unintended consequences and the huge mistake of emasculating a male — even when you think you have the best of intentions. The truth is that pure masculinity is not a problem that needs to be "fixed." It's simply an energy that can be directed, refined and focused. The best way to do that is with the love, appreciation and grace of a smart, feminine woman of quality.
More dating coach advice on YourTango:
- How I Became An Online Dating Coach
- 8 Modern Dating Rules Every Single Should Know
- Dating After Divorce? 3 Pitfalls To Avoid