It may not have occurred to you, but if you are a married woman, be very wary of a sweet-talking single man who offers an understanding ear – and maybe even roaming hands. A married client of mine recently relayed a story of a networking lunch that took an unexpected turn when the man let her know that he was interested in a type of business she had not expected at all. He knew very well that she was married – and a Mom – but that didn’t bother him in the least.
Getting tangled up in a web of deceit
My client is a very attractive woman so it’s no surprise she got this man’s attention. Luckily, she’s also very smart so she declined his offer – but couldn’t help acknowledging that it was somewhat compelling on some levels. Here’s what she didn’t even consider. For an emotionally-unavailable man, a married woman is very easy prey. He’s looking for the excitement and thrills of an illicit relationship with secret rendezvouses, easy sex and all the passion that comes from a world of uncertainty...without any of the “headaches” that come from a real relationship with expectations. And there’s one other factor that makes married women especially susceptible to his advances.
Married women are even easier than single women
An emotionally unavailable man knows that relationships can be difficult; after all, he’s never had a really successful one and doesn’t even WANT one. That’s one of the main appeals of a married woman – he doesn’t HAVE TO do any of the challenging stuff that comes from actually being a partner in a committed relationship. He knows she’s not available either so if she gets too clingy or starts thinking about a future with him, he’s on to the next unsuspecting victim. He knows that the chances are totally in his favor that a married woman will have some unresolved issues with her husband that are easily exploited. He knows that she probably doesn’t get the amount of attention she wants from her husband or partner who is all-in and fully vested 24 hours a day. All the seducer has to do is shower her with attention in a few stolen hours here and there and there’s no comparison whatsoever. By contrast, a single woman would offer him a far greater challenge. She would expect him to man up and actually be present on a day-to-day basis...not just in those lunch-time quickies that seem so appealing in the beginning...but end up feeling so empty and unfulfilling...after the damage is done.
The downsides on the other side