The quality of your life
is the quality of your relationships.
- Tony Robbins
About Todd Reed
If you’re struggling to make your relationship work, I’m here to help.
Maybe you’re discouraged because you don’t feel heard or understood. And whenever you try to express yourself, your significant other clams up, tunes out—or worse, turns into “Mr. Fix-It.”
Maybe you’re angry at something your partner said or did, but since you’ve been butting heads so often lately, you bite your tongue to avoid yet another nasty battle. Meanwhile, as things fester, your misery deepens.
Perhaps your sex life has fizzled, leaving you feeling confused, lonely, and undesirable.
Maybe the thrill is gone from your relationship, and everything feels so routine and predictable. Where’s the excitement? The spontaneity? The romance?
Or perhaps you’re experiencing a nagging disconnect from your partner. You feel helpless not being able to pinpoint what’s causing it, and hopeless not having a clue how to fix it.
I’ve been there, and I believe I have the tips, tools, and expertise you need to get your relationship back on track…to reignite that spark…and to fall head-over-heels in love with your partner again. Helping couples take giant steps towards reconnecting on a deeper level, both mentally and physically, is my specialty—and my passion.
I have spent over a decade observing and studying human behavior patterns in relationships. My first book, Conversation is Sexy, was an Amazon.com bestseller, leading to guest appearances on CBS, NBC, and FOX. My newest book, Revolutionize Your Relationships, offers tips and tools on how to improve your relationships both at work and at home. I have appeared on over 75 radio programs and been invited to host a nationally syndicated radio talk show. I have also been featured as a relationship expert in national/international publications, including Woman's World, Men's Health Singapore and First for Women.
I am a Certified Professional Communication and Relationship Coach and a four-time, award-winning Broadcaster of the Year with over two decades of on-air television, radio, and interpersonal coaching experience. From calling the shots as a sports anchor to hosting morning drive time segments and live call-in shows, I have covered the gamut.
The media have nicknamed me “Mr. Lover Lover;” clients call me “Dr. Phil with a sense of humor.” I have hundreds of success stories and testimonials I’d love to share with you.
I spend the bulk of my time coaching individuals and couples, as well as speaking to groups and organizations on topics ranging from cracking the gender code to how to use communication skills to fall deeper in love, improve your relationships (with friends, family, coworkers, and bosses), get noticed —and promoted—at work, boost sales….and more. In the not-too-distant future, I plan to host a weekend retreat for couples in committed relationships on how to communicate on a higher level and connect on a deeper emotional level. If this is something you think you might like to attend, message me with your email address, and I’ll be in touch.
I believe communication is the superglue that holds any relationship together, and when you lose that ability to share and express your thoughts, feelings, and emotions with one another, your relationship suffers.
My passion is to empower you and your significant other to sharpen your communication skills, truly understand what makes each other tick, and use what I teach you to create/recreate a love beyond words.
Todd Reed Success Stories
Coach Todd, WOW on your presentation at our corporate leadership retreat. Everyone was dreading this annual event because profits have been way down, morale was at an all time low, and we’d been having a lot of infighting among our management staff. But you shared some fascinating team building exercises with us, and weeks later, we continue to reap the rewards of your efforts. We are grateful and hope to see you at next year's retreat. more
Eileen H., Human Resources, The Duncan Company
Thanks for speaking to us
Coach Todd, thanks for speaking to our group. We are all in agreement that you are a charismatic and dynamic speaker with a real gift for connecting with people.Your tips and advice were refreshing and memorable, but what made you such a joy to listen to was your keen sense of humor. We hope you'll come back soon! more
Robert V. Fellowship of Christian Athletes
I'm finally getting it!
Men newly dating
Reading "Conversation is Sexy" has made me realize what makes my Sadie tick and that's been huge. I grew up one of four boys and women have always been a mystery to me. I'm in my early forties and have dated a ton of women but Sadie is the first woman I've ever wanted to have stick around for a long while. Our first few months together were awesome but once we moved in together things started to go south. She'd get upset about things and I wouldn't have a clue why she was mad or sad or whatever. I'd ask her what was wrong and she'd tell me nothing was wrong when clearly it was. So I would take her for her word and then she'd get even more pissed or upset. It was very confusing. We'd fight and then makeup, then fight some more and make up again. Finally I got tired of fighting and was ready to call it quits even though I love her a lot. more
Your book made me understand the differences in men and women and how major a role they play in a relationship. Now I understand how Sadie operates and if I can keep her "emotional tank" filled, everything is hunky dory. I'm slowly figuring out how to do that and we are getting along better than ever. I'm absolutely amazed at the changes in our relationship and so is she. I haven't shared your book with her but I will soon. I have given her a couple of the coupons though and she went crazy over them.
Your book is filled with so much valuable info like that. Appreciate it man.
Sammy C., Portland, OR
I deserve better!
Women starting over
I have been married for 23 years and the first 20 years were awesome. But in the last three years my husband, who is 6 years older than I am, has become distant. He never was a great communicator and now he hardly talks to me at all. He just goes to work then comes home and watches TV then goes to bed. He also lost interest in sex about four years ago. I'm in my early fifties and nowhere near ready to give up on romance and sex but I'm of that generation that believes "for better or worse" so I've stuck by Nathan. I've tried every thing I can think of to get him to open up to me but nothing has worked. more
I wish I could say your book gave me the answer to getting him to respond to me but it actually did the opposite. It made me realize that I deserve better. Not that I didn't try your tips and techniques. Nathan says he loves me but I see now that he's not willing to work at our relationship and that hurts more than I can say. I have suffered in silence for four years and have just decided to separate from him and focus on myself for a while and see how that goes. I feel a bit guilty about that but I am a very passionate and affectionate person who needs so much more than I'm getting.
Who knows maybe Nathan will come around once he sees what he's lost, but I'm fully prepared to move on and see what else and who else is out there for me. When I do, I will be using everything I learned from reading "Conversation is Sexy" to find a new love of my life. Reading your history chapter has taught me a lot on what to avoid in a future relationship. I'm well aware that it takes two for a marriage to crumble and I'm willing to take responsibility for the part I played and not repeat my mistakes.
From cover to cover your book was an eye opener for me and I thank you so much for giving me the courage to begin again. Fifty is the new thirty!!! Lol.
A devoted fan,
Cissy B., Dallas, TX
A Coach As Good as a Therapist
Couples in crisis
I am a marriage and family therapist who works with a lot of couples who are struggling to keep their marriages together, and it's challenging work. I give them lots of exercises to do as "homework," and I'd like to say I have a pretty good success rate. Sometimes, though, they see me as the aloof professional, and it can be difficult to get them past that and to open up to me. I have found that your book, "Conversation is Sexy," reaches them on a level that I often can't and opens the door to help me help them. more
I enjoyed your book as well, although I read it with a more critical eye, due to my extensive training in the field. Nevertheless, I'm always willing to share information from lay writers if I think it will help me do a better job of reaching my patients. "Conversation is Sexy" has certainly done that.
Thanks again for providing a great resource.
T. Gurin, Atlanta, GA
Couples seeking to reinvest in their marriage
I work part-time at a hotel in Anchorage, Alaska and someone who stayed here a couple of weekends ago left your book behind in their room. It was brought to the lost and found and when nobody called to claim it, I did. People leave stuff all the time, but to me this was the BEST "gift" ever!!! I took it home and read it in two days. I read a lot of books and I want you to know that "Conversation is Sexy" is now on my top 10 list. That's a big compliment coming from me!!!! more
Why did I like your book so much? Lots of reasons!
1. It was so personable. The whole time I was reading it, I felt like you were a friend who really cared about me and not some snooty know-it-all doctor.
2. It had a lot of interesting stuff in it like research studies and fascinating facts about men and women. I loved the benefits of kissing stuff. Who knew?
3. It was sexy and your techniques worked!
I also liked it because it's already helping me with my 19 year marriage. When my husband Craig gets home from work, he sits in his recliner, grabs the TV remote, and he won't move the rest of the night. Most of the time I have to wake him up to tell him it's time to go to bed! Needless to say, our sex life has not been too exciting. Notice I used past tense there cause since trying some of the tips and coupons in your book, I'm feeling like a damn newlywed!!! I don't think Craig knows what got into me, and I'm not telling him either. Lol.
I had to write and tell you thanks cause I was truly wondering if Craig still had it going. He does!
Tara M., Anchorage, AK
Women newly dating
I just finished reading your book and want to thank you for writing it. You took some complicated info and made it simple, easy and fun to read. You also helped me to understand a lot of things about myself and the man I love, so thanks for that. more
I was married for 12 years and like you said about yourself in your book, I thought it would be for life and I would grow old with Richard. Three years ago, I found out he had been cheating on me for almost a year and with several women. I thought I could forgive him but I couldn't. I was so mad at him for doing that, but I also realize that it takes two to end a marriage, and I accept it was my fault too. When we went to a therapist to try and save our marriage, I realized the role I played in our growing apart. In the last year or so of our marriage, I was having some major self esteem issues and not communicating them with Richard. Insted, I withdrew emotionally (and sexually). I kept waiting for him to ask me what was wrong, but he never did and that made things worse. After reading your book, I know that I should never expect a man to read my mind and that abstinence is definitely not a good thing. As you can imagine, I love your chapter on tolerance and forgivness. I have forgiven Richard but I will never forget the pain he caused me. We have two children together though, so we have made our peace and get along just fine.
About 6 months ago I met Lenny when I wasn't even looking. We hung out as friends for a long time, but in the last 3 months, things have turned romantic. I was terrified to be intimate with him because I was so out of practice, but things just keep getting better and better.
Who knows if this relationship will last. I think it will because he's always wanting to talk and is always asking me questions. He is really good at keeping what you call my emotional tank on full. But we are taking things slow. I keep reading your history chapter so I won't repeat mistakes I've made in the past.
I've also started using your coupons to make sure we continue to have fun together.
Elise P., Cookeville, TN
The ultimate bridal Bible!
I'm getting married in July. After reading so many books and magazines about how to plan a wedding, it was such a nice change to read something about how to live happily ever after. I've been pretty stressed out trying to get ready for my big day, but reading your book was a great escape. You not only made it fun but it was so full of great tips. Joe and I are Catholic and have been going to premarital counseling that the church requires. You would not believe how boring! I've decided that "Conversation is Sexy" is my married life bible. Just don't tell my priest I said that!!! LOL!!! more
I am counting the days until my wedding. We are going to Hawaii for our honeymoon!!! You can bet I will be packing some sexy outfits to drive Joe wild, and I can't wait to use some of those coupons!!! Joe isn't much of a reader but I'm going to get him to read "Conversation is Sexy" too. I figure if we're in this together, we both need to know how to keep each other happy!!!
Thanks again for getting me even more excited about tying the knot with the love of my life. Here's a big fat hug for you!!!
Rachel M., Indianapolis, IN
Found my true love thanks to you
Men newly dating
I was in a relationship for five years that ended last summer. Christie was a knockout, a great person, and a siren in the bedroom. I thought we would grow old together, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I've had a hand ful of jobs over the past 10 years and always manage to make a decent living, but painting has always been my first love and I think I'm pretty good at it. I've sold a few pieces of my work to galleries and collectors for good money, but it's never been enough to pay the bills mostly because I didn't have time to put into it. The older I get, and I just turned 40, the more I want to pursue my passion as an artist. That's where Christie and I had problems. She loved my art but she didn't fully support my dream. She liked the steady paycheck more. We decided to part ways but remain friends. more
Meanwhile when I wasn't even looking, I met Libby last fall at an art show. She has become the wind beneath my wings. She may not be drop dead gorgeous like Christie but she is cute as a button and possibly the most caring woman I've ever met. We got to be close friends before becoming lovers which was a new experience for me. Have you ever heard that R. Kelly song that says "I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky?" That's how she makes me feel. She believes in my talents as an artist and is using her connections to help me make my dream come true. I have no idea if I'll be able to make it as an artist but aside from my mom, I've never had a woman believe in me the way Libby does and it feels awesome.
I apologize for boring you with all these details but I wanted to tell you how much your book has helped me feel closer to Libby. Her first husband broke her heart when he cheated on her, and she has had trouble trusting men ever since. When I first met her, she was not interested in being more than friends so I had to take things slow. That was a whole new thing for me. When our relationship finally did become romantic, she was very shy and lacked confidence in the bedroom. Notice that I used past tense there. Since reading your book, I've been able to begin drawing her out of her shell and get her engine purring like a kitten as you say in your book. A few weeks ago I gave her your book to read, and it's been incredible to see her grow and change before my eyes. She really loves those coupons and last night she kissed me with her eyes open for the first time. Now she wants me to take her lingerie shopping. Lol. I know life isn't all about sex, but when you've got the great foundation Libby and I have it sure does make things a whole lot more fun.
I've dated a ton of women in my life and never really had to "work" at a relationship. I realize now that maybe those relationships didn't mean as much as I thought they did. What I've discovered from reading your book is that when you find someone special, figuring out ways to get closer to them may require a little effort but the rewards are so worth it. Thanks for pointing that out to me and for showing me how to communicate on a higher level and connect on a deeper emotional level with a woman I fall more deeply in love with every day.
Frank M., Philadelphia, PA
Making major progress
Couples seeking to reinvest in their marriage
You'll be happy to hear that I am finaly taking your advice to be open and honest when things are bugging me. As you know from our many coaching sessions, I tend to be timid about speaking up when stuff I want to say could cause an argument, mostly cause my husband Wes has a short temper sometimes. But your rules for fair fighting definitely work. Finally, I agree with you that it's better to get things out in the open than to keep them stuffed inside. more
Pamela B., Detroit, MI
Spicing things up in Seattle
Couples seeking to reinvest in their marriage
I think my favorite part about your book was how you described the differences between men and women, especially when it comes to sex and stuff. I read some of that out loud to my husband Thomas, about how men are ready to go in seconds while women need their engines warmed up. That cracked him up at first, but it also opened the door for us to talk about how I'd like more foreplay, and sure enough, that's what I got. Is that cool or what? This weekend, I also gave Thomas one of your coupons, and he went wild. I have to say that our sex life was in a bit of a rut, as we've been married for 22 years, but NOT ANY MORE. Thanks for helping us spice things up! more
Mindy W., Seattle, WA
Things are Sizzling in South Georgia!
Couples trying to start over
Your counseling sessions have been amazing and the tips you gave my husband and met are already helping to put some sizzle back in my long term relationship with my man. As you often pointed out when we spoke, it's so easy to get caught up in the stresses of every day life and turn to the TV to unwind. Per your advice, Carl and I now have 30 minutes every night where the TV can't be turned on and we just talk. It felt weird at first but now we're communicating better and that's making a HUGE difference in the bedroom. Lately, we feel like newlyweds! Thanks for that, Coach! more
Louisa B., Tifton, GA
You may have saved our marriage!
Couples in crisis
Harrison and I have been hitched for 11 years and have three kids, one who is severely disabled. That's taken a huge toll on our relationship because caring for Tony is exhausting, although we both love him dearly. For almost a year, Harrison and I have been seeing a therapist but it hasn't helped a whole lot, mostly I think because Harrison thinks this woman takes my side all the time. I hate to admit that he may be right at least some of the time. more
Anyway, we bought your book a few days before Valentine's Day, and I read it first. What great tips you have shared in such an easy, breezy way. After I finished it, Harrison started to read it and even though he hasn't finished it yet, he keeps stopping and saying stuff like "wow, this guy knows his stuff." We may fire our therapist and use the advice in your book instead!!!
I just wanted to say thanks for writing an amazing and extremely helpful book. We both think it may just save our marriage!
Marcia T., Tucson, Arizona
Conversation IS sexy!
Couples dealing with general stress
David and I have been married for eight years and with the kids and work and all, we have gotten ourselves in a big fat rut. We never go out and we don't cuddle or do much of anything else either which has caused us to drift apart. After reading "Conversation is Sexy" I decided to try and change that. Last weekend I got my neighbor's kid to babysit and I gave David one of the coupons from your book, the one that says "Let's go out for appetizers, cocktails and food. Let the good times roll!". We had so much fun! We danced and flirted and had a sexy conversation! Now we've agreed to do that twice a month and to set aside time at least once a week to cuddle on the couch and connect. We are also trying to save some money so we can have a weekend getaway. That would be way cool. more
David has been flipping through your book too and thinks its awesome too. Thanks for rescuing us from our relationship rut. If we decide to have another kid, I think we'll name him Todd!
A big fan,
Tori B., Baltimore, MD
Finding quality time with the one you love
Couples dealing with general stress
Paul and I have been married for 8 years and hit a rough patch recently when he lost his job. We moved halfway across the country, and I've been so homesick for my family and friends. His job is real stressful and when he gets home all he wants to do is watch TV. We have two small kids and once they are in bed all I want to do is be with Paul. For months we had not been intimate cause Paul didn't seem interested. I was really worried that he didn't love me anymore or that he was cheating on me and I love this man with all my heart. more
After reading your book the very next night I got a friend to take my kids for the night and made Paul his favorite dinner. I set the table with candles and turned on some of his favorite music. At first he wasn't sure how to react but soon he was loving it especially when I started asking him about his fantasies and told him about mine Wow was that a great discussion. While the pie I made for dessert was baking we slow danced and that was super nice. Then I took your advice and slipped into the bedroom to put on some lingerie I'd bought. When I walked out Paul started drooling and after that he couldn't keep his hands off me. Lol. It was a night we won't forget any time soon and we have promised to do it again on a regular schedule.
The next day I got vulnerable and told Paul I'd been feeling neglected and unloved. He was so surprised cause he felt the same way too mostly cause he knew how upset I've been having to leave my family. We agreed to talk more now about stuff that's bothering us and to have way more sexy conversations.
We are both amazed at how much our relationship has improved in just a matter of days now that we are communicating better. This is all thanks to you and I had to write and tell you that. Now Paul wants to read your book!
Cindy M., Denver, CO
Thnks for keeping it real
Couples in a long-distance relationship
I'm writing to tell you how much I enjoyed your book Conversation is Sexy. My girlfriend of 4 years lives in Atlanta and came to visit last weekend. It's always hard to get used to each other again after spending months apart but it's always great to see her. Anyway, she was reading your book and told me I should read it to. You need to understand that I'm not a big reader but I was able to read your book before Kelly left to go back to Atlanta, and I thought it was awesome. I learned a lot about how to treat the love of my life better and all kinds of ways to keep her emotional gas tank always on full. more
I have never written a letter to an author in my life but I had to write to you to thank you for unlocking so many mysteries for me about women. I plan to propose to Kelly when she graduates in the spring, and now I think I have the tools to keep her happy for the rest of my life.
Keep it real, man.
Lloyd M., Austin, TX
Second time's the charm
Couples in a long-distance relationship
Like you, I have a failed marriage behind me. After 16 years with Richard, we were not communicating and decided to split. Later I found out he was having an affair so no wonder we weren't communicating! It takes two to ruin a relationship though so I'm taking responsibility for my part in it. We remain friends for the most part. more
Last year I met a new man online of all places. I was doing business with his company and we worked together long distance on a project. We got to know each other professionally first and then kept in touch by email and became great friends. As we got to know each other better, we realized we had growing feelings for each other. He lived four hours away but after communicating onine and talking on the phone for several months we decided to meet. We are now deeply in love and he is looking for a job here so we can be together. It's tough to be in love across so many miles, but he is so wondeful and I am so happy!
Your book really hit home for me because it gave me the chance to look at my failed marriage and learn from my mistakes so I won't repeat them. It's also given me the tools I need to make sure I keep the lines of communication open with my new man and my new relationship remains passionate. I have read a lot of books by so called experts with lots of degrees but they always seem to talk down to folks. I loved your book because you seem to be just a regular guy who has been there, who can relate to people, and who has good info to share. Thanks again for sharing your insight.
M. Cochran, Raleigh, NC
Getting Over Myself (a very good thing)
I received a copy of "Conversation if Sexy" as a bridesmaid gift and read it from cover to cover in one night. Wow, great stuff! more
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years, and we have been living together for two years. I went through some rough personal stuff last year and had to take antidepressants for a while. Blake stood by me the whole time but the meds I took made me gain about 25 pounds and I started hating myself and couldn't see how he still found me attractive. I've been losing some weight lately but nowhere near what I need to lose so your chapter on getting over yourself really made me wake up. Who says I can't be sexy if I wear a size 14 instead of a size 6?
Blake has been out of town this week so I haven't seen him since I read your book but tomorrow I'm going to Victoria's Secret and when he gets home I think he's going to be very surprised and VERY HAPPY!
Your newest fan,
Brooke L, Indianapolis, IN
Thx for teaching me about tolerance and so much more
I am 27 and have been in my first serious relationship for almost a year. My boyfriend and I don't live together but we stay at each other's apartments almost every night so it's almost like living together. That's a first for me so I really liked your chapter on tolerance. Doug has a few annoying habits that I actually found somewhat charming when we first fell in love, then they started getting on my nerves. It seemed like I was always nagging or yelling at him and that was causing major conflict. When I read your book, I realized that some of these things just aren't worth getting all worked up about cause he probably won't change. Even more major was that I realized, as you wisely pointed out, that I do things that annoy him too!! Since making this breakthrough discovery, things have been a whole lot calmer between us. So thanks so much! more
I also have to tell you that when I read the part where you said I should kiss with my eyes open, I laughed and thought "NO WAY!" Then I tried it and WOW. What a big difference that made!
Patty C., Chicago, IL
Giving the green eyed monster the kiss off
Rick and I have been seriously dating for 3 years, but lately it's been one battle after another. The main reason we fight is because he's always checking out other girls and it makes me so mad. Then when I get mad, he gets pissed at me! more
Rick is a big flirt too. That's what attracted me to him in the first place. but I go crazy when he flirts with other girls. Your advice about letting him be a man and remembering that he's with me because he loves me was a real eye opener to me!!! I can't say I'll never feel jealous again but what you said made so much sense. Thanks for enlightening me.
Bethanny M., Athens, GA
Thanks for the Aha Moments!
Couples dealing with general stress
I am a 24 year old graduate student from California and got married a year and a half ago. Sean and I dated all through college and even lived together for a year before getting hitched. He is the love of my life but I have to tell you that a couple of months ago we started having problems and for a while now we have been fighting a lot! They have been some nasty fights too. I was so upset I talked to my mom about it. I talked to my friends about it too and I even talked to our minister about it. Nobody had any good answers for me, except you and your book, "Conversation is Sexy." more
The gender differences stuff was a big eye opener for both of us, and your tips on how to stay connected are already working!! We also liked your advice on fighting fair and we are working to do that better. We like to use my stuffed penguin as our "object" cause Sean won that for me at the state fair on one of our first dates. Seeing each other hold a stuffed penguin definitely takes the edge off our anger at each other. LOL.
Anyway, I wanted to take a second and let you know how much you've helped us.
With a ton of gratitude,
Abby .P., Sacramento, CA