Are You The Tortoise Or The Hare In The Bedroom?


Sex: How To Make Your Wife In The Mood For Sex
If he's ready and you're not, consider putting on a sexy fashion show for him.

With Easter just around the corner, I thought it might be fun to tell the real story of the tortoise and the hare…at least in terms of how this analogy applies to relationships.

Aside from the crazy monkey sex that typically involves a reunion or follows an involuntary dry spell, that let’s-rip-off-each-other’s-clothes, must-have you-right-now romp in the hay is all too rare in most long-term relationships.


Scientists say there’s a good reason for that. Basically, when it comes to making love, women tend to be like turtles, while men are more like rabbits. Indeed, research reveals that it takes a guy about three seconds to be interested in and ready for sex. Women, on the other hand, typically need about 15-20 minutes.

So, the trick to having off-the-hook sex lies in figuring ou how to slow him down, and also how to speed her up. Read on to learn the tips for both men and woman and then take it from there! 


  • Give him a massage. Start at the tips of his toes and slowly work your way up to his neck, shoulders, and head (bypassing his middle). Mix kneading and tickling with soft kisses. When done, tell him it’s his turn to do the same to you.
  • Put on a fashion show. Bust out your sexiest lingerie and see which outfit he prefers to peel off of you.
  • Set a timer and start talking naughty. Make him wait 15 minutes while you tell him what you plan to do to him. Touching and kissing totally allowed—but only above the neck.


  • Sext her during the day or shoot her a quick email saying something like, "I'm having trouble focusing at work. I can't wait to see you tonight."
  • Tell her she's hot — and why. Fill her emotional tank with words and phrases she's craving to hear. Tell her what about her turns you on and how much she means to you. For extra effect, whisper these words in her ear.
  • Think fine dining experience. Don't rush through the salad so you can get to the main dish. Take your time to enjoy an appetizer or a sip of wine, and slowly work up to the main course. If you focus on tasting — and savoring — every bite, a sinfully delicious dessert is yours for the taking.

Once you figure out what turns your partner on, you should do more of that! With practice, you will both be ready at the same time and if not, at least you'll have a great time getting there. Have a great Easter everyone!

This article was originally published at Coach Todd Reed. Reprinted with permission.

Read more sex advice from YourTango:

Sex Positions: Everything You Need To Know
The Best Sex Advice On YourTango
7 Fun Sex Positions To Try Tonight


Article contributed by

Coach Todd Reed

Relationship Coach

Coach Todd Reed, CPC

Author/Speaker/Certified Professional Relationship & Communication Coach

406/396.7755 or 706.255.9301

Discover the secrets to communicating on a higher level and connecting/reconnecting on a deeper emotional level with your significant other by reading Coach Todd's bestselling book, Conversation is Sexy.

In his newest book, Revolutionize Your Relationships, Coach Todd shares tips, tools and techniques that have helped thousands to revolutionize their relationships...both at home and at work. Now it's YOUR turn!

Coach Todd's clients are smart enough to ask questions, wise enough to seek answers, and savvy enough to put both together to make impactful shifts in their relationships. Connect with Todd to receive your gift on how to make your relationships stronger.

Credentials: Certified Professional Coach (CPC)


Location: Tucson, AZ
Credentials: CPC
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