Stop dreading the holidays & start studying these fool-proof ways to avoid intrusive questions.
Buzzfeed did a fun feature about celebrating Thanksgivukkah, which is the melding of US Thanksgiving with the Jewish celebration of Hanukkah. Two calendars collide to create this delicious blend of Pilgrims and Maccabees (the heroes of Hanukkah) that won't happen again for 70,000 years.
Nine creative recipes combined traditional cuisine from each holiday for yummy-sounding dishes, like sweet potato bourbon noodle kugel, Challah apple stuffing and pecan pie rugelach. Thinking about Jewish food brings back memories of being in the kitchen with my mother and grandmother at holiday time. While I learned so much about cooking and entertaining, I also had to field countless probing questions about my love life:
- Have you met a fella yet?
- How long have you been seeing this guy?
- Do you think he's serious?
- Is he Jewish?
- When am I going to be a grandmother?
So, as I learned how to make a sumptuous kugel for all to enjoy, I also became well–practiced at handling the questions from the matriarchs of my family who simply wanted me to be happily coupled up. In fact, there was a time in my life that surviving Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and other holidays became my sole mission. Even thinking about their impending questions made me miserable, as I had to face the reality of my lackluster love life — or one that did not meet with approval. This situation would make any single gal cringe, right?
Today as a dating coach for women, I share my time-tested recipes to guard yourself against inquisitive family members who aim to make your marriage prospects their holiday priority. If you are single and want to hide during holiday time, try these powerful techniques to help create a safety buffer. Clever distraction is the key to eluding inquiring minds; it'll become your best friend at family gatherings. Before arriving home for Thanksgivukkah (or any other holiday!), create a list of sneaky distractions based on the suggestions below. Being prepared makes it far easier to avoid the awkward moments. Of course, there are eight ideas below — in honor of Hanukkah.
- "Oh no, I smell something burning! Is the gravy OK?" Pick something that's cooking on the stove so the inquisitor has to stop grilling you and check on it.
- Bring up a controversial item from the news for a heated discussion that will get people off you as the topic of debate.
- Break out the gossip, but hold off until you really need this distraction. Gossip is a strong side-tracker that can always be counted on, so you don't want to use it too early.
- Ask about an old recipe that's not being prepared for this meal. It requires the cook to think back and dig through her memory banks.
- Turn the question back on the asker, "Remind me how you met daddy/grandpa/uncle Bob? And tell me again how that first date went."
- Recall a favorite family memory and go into detail to get everyone engaged in retelling the story.
- Ask for advice about something unrelated to the question and make it sound as if you've been struggling to find a solution. Requesting assistance is a fabulous way to change the subject.
- As a last resort, excuse yourself from the room, saying you'll be right back. Sometimes people forget what was being said once you move out of sight.
This Thanksgivukkah, be grateful for your loving family members; they really do mean well. And now you can deflect queries as expertly as a Teflon pan prevents food from sticking to it. Happy holidays!
Are you an over 40 woman struggling to find love? As a dating coach for women 40+, I provide proven dating methods that have helped thousands. Get more tips in my FREE book 8 Love Lessons for Hanukkah Let me help you find love with the right man and avoid the many potential pitfalls along the way.
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