Put the bottle down — he is not finding it attractive.
Everyone gets a little nervous on a first date. That's why many singles think a drink seems like a good idea. A little alcohol can steady your nerves and give you a shot of confidence. But as a dating coach for women over 50, I wonder if drinking too much on a date can be keeping you from getting more second dates.
According to a new study conducted by DatingAdvice.com, it turns out that seniors aged 54- 64 are 32% more likely to hit the bottle on a first date than any other age group. I never would have guessed that myself.
There could be several reasons why the over 50 crowd tend to indulge more frequently on a first date:
- Singles over 50 may not have dated for 20 or 30 years and feel they need a bit more courage than younger folks.
- Seniors may have more leisure time, so are more likely to sit back, relax and enjoy a drink or two.
- Midlife singles may have more disposable income and so patronize more upscale restaurants where having a nice glass of wine fits in with the experience.
For the most part, having a drink or two is not a big issue. If it helps you feel more comfortable and it adds to the ambiance of your first encounter, why not?
Drinking Can Become a Problem
A couple of beverages are no big deal, but drinking can become a problem when you:
- Look Sloppy: Overindulging causes you to appear, well, sloppy. Since you only get one chance to make a first impression, getting tipsy can prevent you getting that second date you were hoping for.
- Act Out of Character: Indulging in one too many causes you to say and to do things you wouldn't normally. Lowering your inhibitions can be helpful if you're very nervous, but it can also lead to doing things that you will regret.
- Impaired Judgment: Drinking can impair your judgment and make you overlook red flags because you're having such a good time. Heeding red flags about your date is essential when it comes to finding a lasting, healthy relationship because it keeps you from getting involved with inappropriate matches.
- Safety Risk: Being off your game puts you at risk if something seems strange about your date. Keeping your wits about you is a smart dating precaution. While I've been a dating coach for 12 years and have never had a client tell me a bad story, you never know. Better to be safe than sorry.
5 Ways to Handle Your First Date Drinking
So, next time you venture out for that all-important first date, what can you do? Here are four simple suggestions to follow. Find out which ones work for you and help you to stay relaxed but sober to improve your chances for a second date.
- Give yourself a limit. Many experts agree that what can work best is to give yourself a two drink maximum.
- Short first date. My dating advice for clients is to keep the first date short — about 60 to 90-minutes tops. Spending less time on a first date gives you something to look forward to the next time. And less time together means you have less time to drink.
- Sip your drink. Make that drink last a while by sipping slowly. Take your time. Don't always keep your hand on the glass.
- Ask for water. If you feel thirsty, order a glass of water as well as your drink. This way you won't slug back your drink just to quench your thirst. You can also switch back and forth, making your drink last that much longer.
- Switch to a Different Beverage. After you have one or two drinks, order a non-alcoholic beverage. Go for coffee, iced tea, soda or even juice. Whatever you choose, stick to the limit you set for yourself.
Get more second dates by being your best self. Minimize your alcohol intake, smile, be friendly and warm, and make the most of this social opportunity to find the right man for you and the love you dream of.
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