I saw a movie starring Jim Carrey called The Yes Man that really made me think. In the film, Jim takes a personal development workshop and commits to saying "yes" to literally everything that comes his way. His life takes a wild ride as a result, with many zany adventures.
Yet, when you think about it, saying "yes" can have a tremendous positive impact on your dating and your overall life experience as well. This is particularly true if you are prone to saying "no" which happens more frequently when dating after divorce or dating over 40. When working with my dating coaching clients, I ask them to stretch and think about:
What might you say "yes" to?
- A blind date with a friend's brother;
- Posting a profile online;
- Meeting someone you connected with on a dating site;
- Going to a singles dance with a friend or even solo;
- Trying speed dating;
- Talking to a good looking stranger at a bar;
- Having a coffee date with a new man;
- Practicing your flirting skills; or
- Finding the right man for you and falling in love.
That's a powerful list with loads of possibilities. And there are so many more!
On the other hand, when you say "no," you limit yourself drastically. Being discerning is appropriate and smart. But being negative and limiting your opportunities consistently, significantly minimizes the potential to achieve your desires. Again, this is true of dating and life.
When you say "no," you are literally keeping yourself single. That's okay if you prefer your single status But, if you want to find a loving partner, saying "no" on a regular basis does not serve you.
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