Flirting 101: 9 Guidelines To Avoid Disaster
Don't take flirting too far!
The Wall Street Journal recently published an article about flirting which discussed the ups and downs of this feminine art. The piece says experts consider flirting to have sexual or romantic implications with that goal in mind. I whole heartedly disagree!
Flirting is often just fun, playful interactions that are completely meaningless. At times, the only agenda is to simply enjoy your feminine charm and make a man's day. It's a great method for a single women to meet lots of people, get dates and find love.
If you're single and enjoy flirting, but worry about being misunderstood, I'd like to share nine simple guidelines that will make it clear for you and keep you out of trouble.
1. Let him know you're approachable. The purpose of flirting for the single woman is to let single men know you are available and open to their approach. You can signal them with body language which includes brief eye contact, smiling, playing with your hair and jewelry, tilting your head, touching your neck, smoothing your clothing, crossing your legs, among others.
When a man sees this behavior, he subconsciously understands you are probably safe to strike up a conversation with. Men watch for these signals because they prefer to avoid rejection and mean-spiritied women.
2. Flirty conversation is lighthearted. Verbal flirting comes into play once the conversation gets started. Light banter, silly comments, compliments and even asking a man for assistance all count as flirtatious dialogue. So far, you are in safe territory and have no worries about offending anyone or giving someone the wrong impression.
3. Flirting has advantages. Flirting can help you get a good table at a restaurant, meet new people, wiggle out of a traffic ticket if you're lucky, get help carrying a heavy package, plus many other benefits. And let's face it, flirting is fun! It's an ego boost for you and your partner, adds excitement to your interactions, and can keep a relationship healthy.
Sometimes you want to get a specific man's attention. Flirting may or may not work in this situation. But, what does work is realizing other men are noticing you too. So when you are friendly to one man, other's can see you are open and friendly!
More flirting advice from YourTango:
- 5 Simple Flirting Techniques No Man Can Resist
- 7 Subtle Flirting Mistakes Even The Savviest Women Make
- Which Flirting Style Is Best For You?
Many of my dating coaching clients complain about men who flirt with them but don't ask them out. This goes back to my point that flirting is often fun, but meaningless. When a man does this, he enjoys flirting with you, but doesn't intend to take things further. If this happens to you, stop expecting his flirtations to become more serious and move on to meet new men who will ask you out.
While the WSJ article looked at many aspects of flirting, it failed to point out how to avoid getting into hot water. You need to be smart about your flirting regarding where you are, with whom you flirt and the choice of words. This is common sense isn't it?
Several examples were cited of women who got chastised and lost business clients due to their flirting exploits. Reading about what they did, honestly you wouldn't be surprised they got into trouble.
One woman found herself out of a standing invitation to an annual holiday party for lewd remarks exchanged with a married man. She also lost clients because of her inappropriate comments. She crossed a social mores line in these situations and felt the backlash.
If you're a single woman looking for love, here are the balance of guidelines to avoid flirting disasters.
4. Don't flirt with men using sexual innuendos. You don't want to give them the wrong impression.
5. Don't use bawdy language at professional events. This is just bad taste.
5. Don't boldly flirt with married men at work functions ... especially when wives are in attendance.
6. Don't dog a man with your flirtatious advances. Let him show interest before you push on.
7. Don't touch a man repeatedly while flirting ... unless you want to be considered a tease.
8. Don't let flirting get too intense or sexual. Keep it light-hearted and fun.
9. Don't say or do anything you'll regret. Or anything you'd feel embarrassed about later or wish no one knew about.
If you follow these nine, simple guidelines and use your common sense, flirting is a totally appropriate and safe way for single women to engage men and create playful interactions making any event more fun. And flirting is a great way to get more dates and potentially find love.
To get more of Dating Coach Ronnie's proven dating tips, click the link to get her Free ebook 5 Big Turnoffs That Drive Men Away.