Do you know anyone who is totally unrealistic about finding love? You know the type — her vision of meeting Mr. Right sounds like it was taken directly from a Danielle Steele novel. Well, that's my assessment of Courtney from Bravo TV's Courtney Loves Dallas. Courtney has made it clear that she "wants the magic"; she even went so far as to explain her desire to meet her dream man as they both simultaneously reach to pick up their vanilla skim lattes at Starbucks. That's pretty silly, don't you think? How often do you think that sort of thing really happens?
As a dating coach for women, I want to ask Courtney, "What are you doing to look for love besides ordering coffee?" (And let's take a poll on how many men drink vanilla skim lattes.) When you leave your love life up to the magic of the Universe, you're likely going to wait a very long time for success. You have to take some action — which means making yourself available. You'll need to go out, smile at and meet men, and stop pining over the ones who got away. The idea that a wonderful guy will somehow magically appear without your taking part in the process is unrealistic and disempowering.
If I were Courtney's dating coach, I would strongly suggest she wake up and smell the coffee (apparently her vanilla latte is going to come in handy after all). The clock is ticking while she deludes herself that the perfect man will find her. This idea does give her permission to sit back and wait for Mr. Right. Her girlfriends tried in vain to help her see what she's doing wrong as she complained about not having a love life. Now, I'm not denying there is magic in the world or a chance meeting could turn into a lasting romance. That is totally possible, but first you have to do your part. If you want your fairy Godmother and her magic wand to bring you love, you've got to help the old girl out a little. How can you do that? Read on to learn how to turn your dream of magical love into reality with these five proven and practical dating tips.
1. If you want to meet men, you have to go out.
Try Meetup.com groups, singles dances and events, online dating, or even Tinder, a mobile app that helps you connect with people in your area. Yes, you have to put yourself out there so men can find you. The vast majority will never knock on your door to ask you out (And if he did, would you actually open it?). So, stop making excuses about how tired or busy you are and go out!
2. Please smile and be friendly.
Crazy as it sounds, I remind my dating coaching clients all the time how they need to smile at people, and at men in particular. Learning how to be friendly, flirty, and strike up a conversation will enrich your life and help you meet more men. Break the ice for guys and let them know you are available, warm and open to them. Demonstrating these qualities is very appealing and will put you head and shoulders above most single women who are ignoring opportunities and men in their immediate environment.
3. Ask people you know to fix you up.
According to business networking statistics, most people know about 250 contacts. That means someone you know should be able to fix you up with a friend, family member or colleague. There's no shame in asking for help. It worked for me! I met my own husband by meeting his sister and she introduced us. It pays to be bold, too. A woman I know stood up at a networking meeting to introduce herself. Then she explained the connection she was really seeking was a romantic partner. One man in the room had a brother who was divorced, so he fixed them up. They've been happily married for years.
4. Do something to meet men at least once a week
If you leave meeting men up to chance, you will not encounter nearly enough candidates. I recommend doing something at least once a week to meet new people. No matter what you choose, push yourself to make new connections, even if there are only women at the event. Remember, women know men who are colleagues, family, neighbors, friends, volunteers, etc. The more people you know, the better your chances are... which points back to tip #3.
5. Stay positive and enjoy your life.
While you are looking for the right man, make sure you enjoy life. That's the best way to stay positive and attractive as well. A happy, confident woman is far more appealing than one who is miserable about being single. Life has so much to offer and take advantage of. Learn a new language, take an art class, volunteer, redecorate a room, write a short story, learn to play tennis, go to a local theatre, etc. Enhance your life so you are an interesting person which will make you happy and ensure you enjoy the single life until your status changes.
Nobody said meeting the right man was easy but it's all in the numbers. Even if you don't find your next boyfriend or husband, at least you will be meeting many new people... who might just introduce you to your next love.
Are you an over 40 woman struggling to find love? As a dating coach for women 40+, I provide proven dating methods that have helped thousands. Get more tips in my FREE book 5 Big Turnoffs That Drive Men Away. Let me help you find love with the right man and avoid the many potential pitfalls along the way.
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