ProConnect

5 Tips for a Great First Phone Call

By

 5 Tips for a Great First Phone Call
Dating? The first phone call can get you a first date or push a man away. Here are 5 tips to help

Many of my dating coaching clients have questions about what to ask during the first phone call. They want to know how to quickly weed men out. Understandably, most busy midlife women say they don't have time to waste on the wrong men.

What I have found over the past 10 years as a dating coach, and from dating to find my own husband, this can be trickier than you think. If you mess up  the first phone call, you could end up with few first dates and keep yourself single. Here are five tips to help you have a great first phone call and hopefully get a first date too!

More from YourTango: Don’t Let Love Passover You This Spring

1. Make a good impression - the first phone call is a two way street. Many women forget the first phone call is a two way street. It's not just about what YOU want to know about him. While you have your detective work in mind, remember you also have to make a good first impression. The man you are speaking to is trying to decide if he'd like to date you.

That means you have to be friendly, warm AND pleasant. Your job is to create the desire within him to meet you by sharing your best self. Be enjoyable - someone the guy would have fun spending time with. If you only focus on getting through your list of questions, you won't connect or be much fun. That will result fewer first dates.

2. Be realistic - you can't learn everything in the first phone call. Dating is a process and it's purpose is to "gather data". This often takes time. If you try to rush this, you risk turning men off. So, be realistic - there is only so much you can learn in a first phone call. To really know if a man is right for you, most of the time you have to meet him. You need to discover if you connect, have chemistry and the most important hurdle - if he asks you out.

My two matchmaker friends explain that phone interviews squash more potential matches than anything else. They both want me to tell you not to "phone date" which keeps too many people from ever meeting.

3. Keep your questions light - this is a conversation, not an inquisition. Men do not like to be "grilled". (Neither do women right?) If you handle the first phone call like an interview and fire a series of tough personal questions at a man, he will get turned off.  This is an unpleasant interaction that will not serve you in any dating situation.

More from YourTango: Falling Into The Trap: Are You A Fool For Love?

Questions like, "Why did you get divorced?" or "Why are you still single?" will only put him on the spot and make him uncomfortable. You aren't likely to get the real answer any way early on. Why? Because people need to build trust and earn the right to share such personal details. The same is true for you.

What can you ask? Questions about vacations, favorite foods, movies, music and hobbies are all excellent ways to discover a man's passion and get him talking. Then you can find out how he spends his free time to see if there's a spot for you.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by

Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan

Dating Coach

The Dating Coach for Women Over 40

Get my free ebook 5 Big Turnoffs that Drive Men Away here.
Author of MANifesting Mr. Right, Why Can't I Find Love and How to Sizzle Vs. Fizzle Online

Location: Milford, CT
Credentials: MBA
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan:

Don’t Let Love Passover You This Spring

By

In the Jewish faith, Passover is a time of great celebration as people come together to remember being freed from slavery in ancient Egypt. If you're Jewish and single, this is a great opportunity to meet new people because religious holidays provide the chance to socialize. And any social outing helps you expand the number of people you know. As a ... Read more

Falling Into The Trap: Are You A Fool For Love?

By

It happens to everyone at some point — you do things for love that you know are not so smart. You become a fool for love.   Have you done any of the following and fallen into this trap? You believed a guy who told you a lie and you sort of knew it, but chose to ignore it You gave and gave and gave and got so little in ... Read more

Think Again: Why You Shouldn't Ask Him Out

By

There's this man you know who flirts with you often. Maybe every time you see him. You can tell he likes you. So how come he doesn't ask you out? This makes you wonder if you should take the bull by the horns and simply ask him out. There is equality between the genders today so why not right? Disclaimer: While the idea of asking a man out seems ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Cooking Together

6 More Eco-Conscious Ideas For A Better World And A Better You

Here are six tips on how you can have sex more consciously and also be kind to the environment.

Family With 2 Young Kids

What Wise Parents Know About Raising Successful Children

What are we teaching our children when we focus on their achievements rather than their kindness?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS