You're sexy, free, and single. Now go out and mingle!
"A fling?" you ask. "Are you kidding?"
No, I’m absolutely serious about a harmless fling between two single adults.
Think of a fling as an exciting temporary romance that blooms without the pressure of making it mean something more. A little romance, even a temporary one, wildly rejuvenates the spirit.
It’s not an emotionless one night stand and, at the same time, it doesn’t require commitment if you aren’t ready to share your life with another.
A fling is somewhere in the middle of these two types of romance and having that choice is empowering.
As a dating coach for women, you might think I’ve finally gone round the bend and lost it. But I’m quite serious. Let me explain with an example.
Rose, 49, is a divorced single woman, who has been dating on and off for about six months. She meets men fairly easily, but nothing has worked out yet, and she felt frustrated and discouraged about her potential to find the right man ... until she met Stan.
Rose and Stan had their first date on a Thursday night and it went quite well. She felt a spark and the conversation flowed. He called her the following week and asked her out on another Thursday night date. Then they ended up together Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.
When Rose called me for her date coaching session, she told me dating was going like a lead balloon. She had a great weekend with Stan, but could already feel him pulling away. He canceled their next date, and now she believes that things are over, which explains the lead balloon comment.
However, when I asked how she felt about the weekend, her respond surprised me. "I was ecstatic! I haven’t felt that good about myself in five years."
She talked about how she felt desirable, lovable, and beautiful. They had steamy sex and a lot of fun, and she felt alive once more. Even though the romance ended quickly, Rose saw the benefits of going with it and the powerful, positive results.
There are five main benefits I helped Rose identify about the fling that might open your eyes to a similar situation from your past (or something still in your future):
1. It's incredibly fun and romantic
No one can deny the excitement and fun of a whirlwind romance. Even if it doesn’t last, the value of an occasional fling makes you feel healthy and refreshed.
2. It rekindles your feminine charm
Rose got back in touch with her feminine energy and charm and how it feels being with a man. Normally, she’s all business, but she let her feminine side out to play which was a huge relief after years of holding back.
Living without intimacy, Rose had forgotten how enjoyable good sex can be, and that made her feel desirable again which built her confidence.
3. It cracks your protective armor
Rose opened up to this guy, and allowed her vulnerability to show, which cracked through layers of mental and emotional protection that had accumulated after her unhappy divorce. A certain degree of vulnerability is essential to connect with a man at the heart level.
4. It enlivens your spirit
While this was a short-lived romance, Rose said she hadn’t felt this alive or good about herself in five years. That’s an amazing breakthrough and a dramatic upgrade for her psyche around dating and men. She felt reborn and more determined than ever to find the love she wants and deserves.
5. It motivates you to keep dating
I encourage clients, like Rose, to look for good feelings and emotional benefits of any dating situation and use it to heighten their love vibration. The more optimistic and positive you feel about finding love and the more confident you are as a woman, the more attractive and magnetic you are to men.
Many single women feel devastated after a fling or depressed about the loss of what "might have been." But, if you look at the experience from a positive angle, your attitude transforms and you start to attract better men.
Rose isn’t looking back with regret. Through date coaching, she sees that being with Stan actually helped her dating journey. She chose to focus on the empowering aspects of the fling to propel her forward — feeling stronger, vibrantly alive, and incredibly desirable.
Whether you already lived through a fling or are contemplating having one, think about the positive results it offers. Indulge in a delicious romance and revel in the fun to refresh your lovable spirit. It all helps prepare you to meet the right man.