3 Common Misconceptions About Dating and What to Do About Them

By

3 Common Misconceptions About Dating and What to Do About Them
If something feels inauthentic or gamey, it probably is.

1.  I shouldn’t have to date.   Many people believe that falling in love should happen organically.  I agree.  But for that to happen, you need to increase your exposure to other single people, especially as you get older.  That’s why you need to date.  Otherwise, how are you going to meet this person?  But there is another, even more important reason to date.  Let’s face it.  Men and women are really different.  Successful relationships occur when two people can come together and embrace those differences.  Dating gives you firsthand exposure to many members of the opposite sex so that you can begin to understand and appreciate how they think and operate.  In the end, falling in love will happen organically, but there is a greater chance of that happening if you help the process along.

2.  I can't contact someone right after a date.  There’s lots of crazy advice out there about dating.  Who knows?  I might even be disseminating some of it myself.  What you have to keep in mind as you go through this process is that, if something feels inauthentic or gamey, it probably is.  Take the above example.  The only reason to wait to call someone is because you don’t want to appear desperate or needy. Unfortunately, if you’re desperate or needy, the other person is going to figure it out eventually anyway.  If all went well and your date really liked you, he or she won’t want you to wait and will be thrilled to hear from you right away.  However, if your date didn’t like you, waiting to ask that person out again isn’t going to matter.  The only thing you don’t want to do is stalk someone.  If you contact someone and you don’t hear back, then you have to let it go.  And ladies, I don’t care what anyone says.  If a man takes you out, you have every right to call, text, or email to thank him.  It’s just good manners.

3.  When I meet the right person, I will be happy and I can get on with my life.  Like a lot of things in dating, we have this one backwards.  What really happens is that, when you are happy and together, you will meet the right person.  As Wayne Dyer says, “You don’t attract what you want, you attract who you are.”  Again, dating is the path to becoming an even more attractive person.  You need to use the process to practice becoming the person your ideal partner will find attractive.  To do this, I have my clients choose a quality like playfulness, sensuality, compassion, or vulnerability, for example.  They practice this quality on every date.  Even if they know that they don’t want to see the other person again, they use the date to explore this new side of themselves.  In this way, they are preparing themselves for true love when it arrives.

Schedule an appointment with me today.

 

 

Lisa Shield, MA, CPCC
Transformational Dating and Relationship Coach
(323) 939-1770
www.LisaShield.com

 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Shield

Relationship Coach

Lisa Shield, MA, CPCC

I will show you how open your heart and attract true love with nothing to hide. To get started, go to my website and get my free ebook, "Five Simple Solutions to Turn Your Dating Around," sign up for informative newsletter, and book a free sample session today!

"Naked" Dating & Relationship Coach

(323) 939-1770

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: MA, PCC
Other Articles/News by Lisa Shield:

How To Be Sexy Without Having Sex

By

Men are very attracted to feminine women who are comfortable with their sexuality and know how to express it. This doesn't mean that you need to be overtly sexual or have sex on the first date. It does mean that you will take a risk and steer the conversation into sexy territory now and then. Most women don't know how to embrace their sexual power, and ... Read more

Want To Grab His Attention? Being Pretty Isn’t Enough

By

I used to think that being feminine meant that I had to dumb myself down. When I started dating again in my forties, it finally dawned on me that I could be playful and seductive in a way that felt authentic to me. When I was younger, my mother had scared me into thinking that all men were like my father in that they would eventually abandon me for younger, ... Read more

The Unsettling Truth About Settling

By

There is no such thing as settling while we're in a relationship. In retrospect, we can tell ourselves that we were settling, but as long as we stayed in the relationship, we were getting exactly what we bargained for. As hard as it can be to admit this to ourselves, the people we chose as partners were a direct reflection of how we felt about ourselves ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB