Conversations with Bartenders


Conversations with Bartenders
Singles: Feeling like it's time to practice your social skills, but not sure how to start?

I spoke to a group of single women recently. During the question and answer time afterwards, part of the conversation went like this:

  • Woman #1: We're singles just getting started on the dating scene and feeling nervous about meeting new people. It's easier when we're with a group, but that isn't helping us meet single men. Is there something we can do on our own?
  • Me: First of all, I applaud you for taking the plunge and doing things by yourself. I know that going with a girlfriend gives you important things—as women we tend to feel safer in numbers, and it's so important to honor your safety. Also, if you go with a friend it's easier to make conversation.
  • Woman #2: Yes, way easier to talk when I bring a friend along.
  • Me: What kind of things have you been doing on your own so far?
  • Woman #1: Going to movies.
  • Woman #2: Going out to dinner—I always bring a book.
  • Me: These are great activities, but you're probably aware that neither one helps you practice talking to other people, men specifically.
  • Woman #1: So, what do you think we should do?
  • Me: I'll tell you one thing that worked for me when I was single—go to restaurants that have a bar (or just go to a bar or nightclub) and talk to the bartender

Here's the thing about bartenders—they're usually great at making conversation and putting people at ease. They've talked to nearly every type of person and therefore are a wealth of information. You can talk about your job, your kids, your current relationships, what type of relationship you wish you had, and they will listen and give advice. I've found bartenders to be warm and friendly and willing to chat.


To begin, find a place in your neighborhood and make your first visit during hours when they aren't busy. That way, it's easier to have the bartender conversation.

You could even be so bold to tell the bartender what you're doing—that you're practicing going out by yourself and talking to strangers. You may find this makes them even more interested in helping you feel at ease.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Christine Baumgartner

Dating Coach

I believe you want to love and be loved. And if the love you desire and deserve isn't currently in your life, then let's talk so you can turn the “work” of love into play by putting in place the right techniques for you to finally bring that love into your life.

I know (because it's how I met and married my husband) that once you become The Perfect Catch you'll definitely attract The Perfect Catch.

Christine Baumgartner

Dating and Relationship Expert

The Perfect Catch


Location: Mission Viejo, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Transitions, Marriage
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