50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

Conversations with Bartenders


Conversations with Bartenders
Singles: Feeling like it's time to practice your social skills, but not sure how to start?

I spoke to a group of single women recently. During the question and answer time afterwards, part of the conversation went like this:

  • Woman #1: We're singles just getting started on the dating scene and feeling nervous about meeting new people. It's easier when we're with a group, but that isn't helping us meet single men. Is there something we can do on our own?
  • Me: First of all, I applaud you for taking the plunge and doing things by yourself. I know that going with a girlfriend gives you important things—as women we tend to feel safer in numbers, and it's so important to honor your safety. Also, if you go with a friend it's easier to make conversation.
  • Woman #2: Yes, way easier to talk when I bring a friend along.
  • Me: What kind of things have you been doing on your own so far?
  • Woman #1: Going to movies.
  • Woman #2: Going out to dinner—I always bring a book.
  • Me: These are great activities, but you're probably aware that neither one helps you practice talking to other people, men specifically.
  • Woman #1: So, what do you think we should do?
  • Me: I'll tell you one thing that worked for me when I was single—go to restaurants that have a bar (or just go to a bar or nightclub) and talk to the bartender

Here's the thing about bartenders—they're usually great at making conversation and putting people at ease. They've talked to nearly every type of person and therefore are a wealth of information. You can talk about your job, your kids, your current relationships, what type of relationship you wish you had, and they will listen and give advice. I've found bartenders to be warm and friendly and willing to chat.

More from YourTango: The Weird Thing That Ruins Your Date (Plus, 5 Ways To Avoid It)

To begin, find a place in your neighborhood and make your first visit during hours when they aren't busy. That way, it's easier to have the bartender conversation.

You could even be so bold to tell the bartender what you're doing—that you're practicing going out by yourself and talking to strangers. You may find this makes them even more interested in helping you feel at ease.

More from YourTango: Does He Like Me? And Other Questions You Must Retire To Find Love

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Christine Baumgartner

Dating Coach

I believe you want to love and be loved. And if the love you desire and deserve isn't currently in your life, then let's talk so you can turn the “work” of love into play by putting in place the right techniques for you to finally bring that love into your life.

I know (because it's how I met and married my husband) that once you become The Perfect Catch you'll definitely attract The Perfect Catch.

Christine Baumgartner

Dating and Relationship Expert

The Perfect Catch



Location: Laguna Niguel, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Transitions, Marriage
Other Articles/News by Christine Baumgartner:

The Weird Thing That Ruins Your Date (Plus, 5 Ways To Avoid It)


Have you ever found yourself suddenly so mad at a person (or the world at large) and have no idea why? And it seems to have come out of nowhere, leaving you irritable and exhausted from all the intensity? Now, let's thicken the plot. Let's suppose you're on your way to a first date with someone you've been communicating with for a few weeks ... Read more

Does He Like Me? And Other Questions You Must Retire To Find Love


It all begins with the first contact we have with a man and we ask ourselves, "does he like me?" However, at this point, men are on a completely different page, and this is helpful for women to understand.  If he writes to you, calls you, talks to you, asks you out, or is sitting across the table from you — this means HE ... Read more

Helpful Tips For Single Parents Getting Ready To Date


If you're a single parent starting to date again, you know it's not simple. There is much to consider—everything from finding the time to knowing where to meet people to telling the kids. I recently had the pleasure of being among three relationship experts interviewed on this topic. See our answers in Parents magazine: The Single Parent's ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Staying Dry

Letting Go Is Hard To Do

Healing your heart after divorce or loss of a spouse is worth the effort. Letting go is hard to do.

cozy up

Showing Love Through Touch

Touch is so incredibly important in relationships.


Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>