In a recent coaching session with one of my clients, Marilyn, an attractive woman in her late 40s, she had begun online dating with a website that gives you several potential matches daily. One day, Marilyn looked at her computer screen and she had over 20 potential love matches. She was overwhelmed.
Marilyn has a very full life. She has a demanding job, family responsibilities and partakes in various community service projects. Being the nice person that she is, Marilyn felt she had to respond to all of her matches, regardless of their compatibility. It was hard for her to say no to any of them. What if she passed over someone good? 5 Rules For A Stellar First Date
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One of my online dating tips for Marilyn was to institute a system where she rated her matches A, B or C. "A" candidates are a very good match. They share her values, have similar life goals, have the kind of profession she respects and lives within a 25 mile radius. This criteria was set by Marilyn herself. The "B" matches were those men who fit Marilyn's criteria, but live over 50 miles away. "C" candidates did not fit what Marilyn was looking for in a man. Are You Ready For Marriage? 8 Ways To Tell
I could see that Marilyn needed permission to nix her "C" matches. I told her to let go of the "C" candidates, thus opening her up for some new, better matches.
Another tip I gave Marilyn was that she needs to initiate the contact with her "A" matches. Being brought up as a lady, she thought that men had to initiate the first move. I told her that given the online dating set up, it was okay if she initiated. However, the guy would need to respond in a timely fashion and then take the initiative if he was truly interested and a worthwhile candidate. 5 Signs You Are A Dating Snob
How do you manage your time with online dating? Do you get overwhelmed with the amount of people to weed through and who you want to respond to? What are your online dating tips for using a system that works for you? I love to hear your comments.
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