You may feel as if you are on an emotional roller-coaster, during and after your divorce. You are grieving over the death of your marriage as well as your hopes and dreams for the future. It is a very traumatic time, yet it is vital that you make life-changing decisions as you go through the process in order to secure your future.
Many women make the big mistake of listening to their family and friends during this distressing time. Those closest may have the best of intentions, they often give advice that may decrease your chances of getting a fair deal and prolong the healing phase. It is best to only discuss specifics of your divorce with an attorney and financial analyst. Seeking out a skilled divorce coach or therapist will be able to assist you in sorting out your feelings and clearing your head which will allow you to make the best decisions based on your circumstances.
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Here are some of the worst divorce advice women have received:
1) Clean out the bank accounts
This may lead to some harsh words and punishment from a judge. Many experts recommend getting a copy of the balance on the separation date and then possibly putting half of it in a separate account.
2) Revenge is sweet
Destroying or selling his personal property may give you some unwanted legal problems, fines and possibly even jail time. Find a safer way to vent your anger and frustration, such as speaking to a skilled divorce coach. Remember, two wrongs NEVER make a right.
3) Lock him out of the house
This may be against the laws of the state you live in. Discuss your options with an attorney and follow the legal process of securing your home for yourself. If there a threat of physical harm to you or your children, call the police.
4) Take him to the cleaners
The only reason you would want to do this is to make him pay a hefty price for hurting you. It stems from lack of forgiveness. You are wanting to punish him and erroneously believe taking him to the cleaners will make you feel better. Discuss this situation with your divorce coach or therapist.
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5) The attorney will handle everything
You are not the attorney’s only client. For the best outcome in your divorce, do some research on the laws in the state you reside. Ask your attorney questions. Gather the documents he requests. It is your life and your responsibility to be your attorney’s partner during the divorce process. Remember, just because a particular attorney was a good fit for your best friend, it doesn’t mean that he is a good fit for you.
6) The judge will rule in your favor
No one has a crystal ball that enables them to predict the future. Ask yourself, why would you even want to go in front of a judge? That only brings out the very worst in both parties and is giving up control of your life. It is always best to agree on the division of your finances and assets. A mediator or collaborative attorney may save time, money and headaches.