You just met someone and had a connection, but would you still date him if he had an STD?
Now I am not going to go into the semantics of what he has, but lets just say its not curable. So with this I honestly looked at her and was like, "Really?"
If I ever had this happened to me I would walk away, very quickly. There is no guarantee that this relationship would work out. And if it didn't and you had sex with him and then contracted the disease as well, I just do not understand the appeal or even the question? It makes no sense to go after someone who is not going to leave a lovely parting gift. Well, he is but it's not the kind you would want.
I have tried different tactics with her to explain that this isn't a situation you would want to deal with and she is telling me that if she walks away then she would feel she wasn't mature and was shallow. My thinking is no, you would have enough self respect for yourself to walk away. Because this affects your health that you are willingly allowing to be infected for someone you don't even know if the relationship would last.
Now, there are ways to protect yourself from getting this. I mean there is dental dam and if they are on medication it will lessen the chance of you getting it. But this guy has done a lot to show her that he is still enjoying his cheating ways even with this disease. He actually got girl's numbers in front of her and told her he was going to see a girl that was 12 years younger than him. So it is obvious that he is not wanting a relationship with her.
I know sometimes people don't find out about having an STD for a long time and if you are in a relationship with someone and they find out when you have been with someone for a year or longer. I understand it would be harder to walk away, but this isn't the case. This is someone who has no idea what would happen with this person. And I fear she will do something she regrets and then they don't work out and now her potential guys she could talk to just went from 90% to 5%.
I just do not get the appeal or the want on her part. Maybe I am too judgmental or I am too concerned with my health. Which ever the case maybe I really don't want to have to tell her what she can and can not do. But as a friend I have no choice, but to tell her she's going down a wrong path and this path may not have an escape route.
Christy Goldstein is a relationship coach and can help you with all your relationship needs. Whether you need help with your current relationship challenges or to get over your past breakups and the events that happened during that break up, she has you covered! Contact Christy for a free 30 minute Skype consult! firstname.lastname@example.org