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What Drives Men Away And What Attracts Them

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What Drives Men Away And What Attracts Them
Do you find yourself playing games or pretending not to care in order to keep a man attracted?

Do you ever worry that you are going to scare a man away if you show him how you feel? You aren’t alone. Many women find themselves playing games or pretending not to care in order to keep a man attracted and interested.
What’s interesting is that what drives a man away isn’t showing him how you feel or being honest. Feelings by themselves don’t scare a man, It’s what you’re doing with those feelings that makes all the difference.

What’ll Drive Him Away

More from YourTango: Can He Handle A Relationship?

The most certain and complete way to drive a man away (and as far away as possible) is to become overly needy, clingy, and suspicious because you’re feeling unsure of where things stand or what he wants from your relationship. Whatever you’re afraid of actually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. That’s because once you subconsciously believe something to be true, you tend to find proof of it everywhere. In this case, it becomes reality because your anxiety causes you to be needy and clingy – and completely kills any attraction he felt for you.
Often, problems in relationships don’t require answers-- they require a different belief system. Change what you believe and you can prevent problems in the first place.

What Attracts Him

More from YourTango: The 3 Communication Secrets That Keep Him Interested

A man expects that if a woman likes him, then she should feel good when she's around him. If you’re constantly stressed, worried or unhappy around him - whatever the reason - it makes him feel inadequate. It’ll compel him to want to spend less time around you.
There are three ways to communicate your needs that will make him not only feel good, but make him want to spend more time around you:

  1. Be clear about what you want from him and what you expect without frustrating or confusing him even more. Men aren’t great at giving emotional support and nurturing, and they’re equally bad at figuring out what’s bothering you or why you’re unhappy. Know what you want from him and be clear about it.
  2. Find out why you’re chronically unsatisfied with him. Men want to be around women who make them feel good about themselves. Telling him that he is constantly doing things wrong is just a big turn off for him.
  3. Don’t hide what you’re thinking and feeling because you think you’ll scare him away. Men actually expect women to be a kind of "emotional leader” in relationships. Women bring a deeper and richer emotional aspect to their lives they don’t have elsewhere.

In general, the way to attract a man is to feel good about yourself and know what you want and how to communicate it clearly. When a man sees that you feel great, he’ll feel great too, and everything else will magically get easier.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Christian Carter

Dating Coach

Discover the inside secrets of finding and keeping "Mr. Right" - Christian Carter’s Catch Him And Keep Him eBook takes you inside the mind of a man to deliver the hidden keys and secret strategies every woman needs to create the forever relationship of her dreams.

Subscribe to Christian’s FREE newsletter here or visit www.CatchHimAndKeepHim.com for more details.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Christian Carter:

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