The Secret Cause Of Distance In Relationships

By Christian Carter It happens so often, it’s almost an epidemic in relationships. Women who consider themselves great communicators often feel their man getting distant or withdrawing, and they don’t understand why. It most likely has to do with one thing: your internal belief system. Beliefs have a very powerful effect on everything you think and do. They create the entire perception of what's happening around you. Knowing this, what happens when you have a “negative” belief? What happens when deep down, you believe that ultimately, you don’t deserve something or that all men are out to take advantage of women? What if you believe that all men eventually cheat or they never really want to fully commit? If you have a certain set of internal beliefs, you will experience your relationships through that lens, over and over and over, therefore reinforcing those beliefs each time. Chances are, if you’ve been hurt in a past relationship, you already have negative beliefs about men . Like it or not, some of these beliefs maybe be creating self-destructive experiences in your love life. A man may have negative beliefs about relationships, too. He may think a woman will take away his “freedom.” Logically, it’s not true and men who have good relationships know this. So why do so many men still believe it and act it out in their relationships through non-committal or withdrawing behavior? Because their rational mind isn’t in control. It's the man's subconscious belief that a woman and a relationship will take away his freedom. Men and women both have important and powerful beliefs about the other sex and relationships rooted deep in their minds. Identifying Your Limiting Beliefs Maybe you feel like you'll never meet a man who’s different and who’ll understand you and give you the kind of relationship you want. This feeling is likely due to a set of beliefs that you've picked up from your past experiences with men. And guess what? They're not very helpful to you. In fact, they're actually counterproductive when you're wanting to have an open, connected, loving relationship with a man. They cause a lot of emotional distance and a severe lack of understanding and intimacy in a relationship. How to Use Beliefs to Improve Your Relationship Start by paying attention to that inner voice that’s telling you things you don’t like or that bother you about men. These are your crucial “resistance points” with men and dating. If you believe that men aren’t capable of real commitment, you’ll be suspicious and jealous all the time—thereby creating unnecessary tension in your relationship. Once you’re aware of how your beliefs are affecting the way you feel and act, you can choose to change these beliefs and create more understanding and openness in your relationship with a man. Christian Carter is the author of the eBook, “Catch Him and Keep Him.” If you’d like to get more free tips and the inside scoop on what men are really thinking when it comes to dating and relationships, sign up for his free e-newsletter by clicking here.