by Christian Carter
Do you know how to tell if a man is interested in you? It’s not easy for women to figure out what a man is thinking and where he might see things going in the relationship. Often, they may start to feel nervous or even "out of control" when they’re attracted to a man and unsure of how interested he is in return.
More from YourTango: How To Know What A Man Is Really Thinking
If you’ve seen this, or have even been there yourself, then you probably know what comes next. You freak out by over-analyzing everything the guy does, which only fills you with more questions and fear. He picks up on this fear and senses your negative emotional energy, and this makes things even more difficult because he starts to close off from you.
The Weak Approach
One common strategy that women take when they’re unsure of what a man is feeling is what I call “compensating.”
Here’s how it works: You’ll meet a man and he’ll be very “intense”BOLD with you at first. He’ll be more open with his feelings and say things that are a bit emotionally risky. Eventually, his default emotional state catches up to him once the euphoria of a new relationship fades, and he’ll revert back to being more careful with his words and feelings. You’ll intuitively sense he’s changed and you’ll feel rejected by it. This is where the weak strategy of compensating comes in.
To try and get things back to the way they were, you’ll make up for what he’s not doing. You’ll be more accommodating, sweeter, or you’ll call him more. You’ll make excuses for his bad behavior to others. You’ll feel resentful and frustrated if he doesn’t open up and become more affectionate in return. This, in turn, will make him even more disinterested.
Speaking His Language
Compensating doesn’t work because it only covers up whatever is wrong. To figure out how interested a man is any why, you’ll need to do two things:
1. Use your intuition. Direct your mind to find constructive, positive meaning in the things he’s doing or saying.
2. Communicate your feelings so he’ll listen. When a man feels tension or anxiety from you, he’ll often avoid having a conversation with you, hoping it will all just go away and he won’t have to deal with it. If you approach him with a sense of curiosity and openness, he’s more likely to want to connect with you on a deeper level.
More from YourTango: Revealed: 5 Reasons Men Don't Call You Back
When you use your intuition and know how to communicate in a positive way, you’ll be able to easily tell the difference between a man who’s just interested in a “fling” and a man who is open to having a “real” relationship with you.
Christian Carter is the author of the eBook, “Catch Him and Keep Him.” If you’d like to get more free tips and the inside scoop on what men are really thinking when it comes to dating and relationships, sign up for his free e-newsletter by clicking here