Or are you leading a life of quiet desperation? Do you drink too much, or eat when you're upset? Are you not just alone, but lonely?
Maybe your marriage has reached the point that you're simply living parallel lives. Or you have the same fight, over and over and over.
These days, "reconstituted" families are becoming a norm, bringing with them new difficulties of "yours, mine, and ours." Most of us parent the way we were parented; that's what seems "right." But very few of us have unconscious patterns for step-parenting
Or maybe you are at the point where you think you have to choose between marriage and being your authentic self.
These are normal conditions that can be helped dramatically by the right therapy.
Many people think of therapy as just for those who are in some way ill. It can be so much more. We can develop unexpected ways to handle old problems; we can focus on managing stress. People who come to therapy to work out old issues, or unresolved grief, often stay to learn how to live with themselves more joyously. Problems in marriage usually respond almost immediately to the presence of a third, trained party.
Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to help you be your best self.
I’m a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Board Certified Diplomate with the American Board of Examiners. I earned a certificate in psychoanalytic psychotherapy from the Greenwich Institute of Psychoanalytic Studies in New York City.
I’ve been in private practice in Manhattan for the past 21 years, working with individuals, couples, and group. I’m active in the Eastern Group Psychotherapy Society and the New York Society for Clinical Social Work. I have been married for 47 years and am both a mother and a stepmother, and a happy grandmother.
This is my second career, and so I bring to it considerable life experience. I was trained psychoanalytically, but I follow a fairly broad spectrum of theoretical philosophies. My general aim is to help you balance head and heart.
If you are considering couples counseling, it's important for you to know that the treatment is for the relationship, never to "fix" one partner or the other. I find it wonderfully surprising how many "hopeless" relationships can be brought back to life, when both parties are willing.
Come and talk to me; I'd be pleased to hear from you. See my website for more detalis.
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
I’ve worn a lot of “hats” in my life. I like to think it gives me a wide field of view. I was a precocious child: my mother started me on the piano when I was 2½. I was a “star” academic in High School: I was among the first Presidential Scholars. I was a scholarship student at Juilliard School of Music, and pursued a career as a chamber music player. That took me to the Soviet Union (when it was still the Soviet Union) in 1977, and to a solo viola recital at Carnegie Recital Hall.
I married, before I had turned 20, a man with two boys from a first marriage. I had no idea how young I was! We shortly had two more children of our own. So I spent some 20 years being a parent and a step-parent. I learned a lot by trial and success, and more by trial and error.
When my youngest went to college, I started to rethink what I wanted to do with my life. I realized that I was happiest when I was reading something about the human psyche. This had been true since Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving kept me emotionally balanced in high school.
I followed my joy. I went back to school in my mid-forties, and I haven’t looked back. I can’t say the road has been smooth, because there are always barriers to be overcome, hurt to be healed, and awareness to be gained. That being said, I have come to learn that problems are a source of hope, because problems have solutions, that mistakes really are opportunities, and that while love doesn’t conquer all, it provides a pretty good springboard for life.
I want to do more, experience more, celebrate more. But every once in awhile, I think, if I were to die today, I’d be satisfied. I'd like to help you be able to say the same.
Articles by Cheryl Gerson
Jane and Michael thought their marriage was probably over. She had discovered that he had made use of call girls off and on, and felt utterly betrayed.
It could have been tempting to blame him and identify him as the "bad" partner, deserving to be left. But they had a long history of good marriage.
It was tricky for her to accept him "back" without excusing his behavior, but she was up for the effort. And he was willing to examine himself, to shore up his ability to deal with his impulses.
At this point in time, their marriage is stronger and more intimate than it was before his "fall."
When I met Alice, she was living with with an addict who, although technically "in recovery" was nevertheless unable to maintain a satisfying relationship. Most of the time he was out of work; he was still married to a woman he hadn't seen in many years.
She was loyal; she really wanted to make it work. She empathized with his pain and encouraged him in his efforts to get or create work. She paid his bills and nursed him when he was sick. When at last she realized that he really was not going to be the man she wanted, when she realized that she'd had all she could take, she still felt terrible guilt about leaving him.
Our work together, and some help from good friends, finally accomplished the task of moving him out of the house. Then we spent time letting her experiment and learn what she could expect from a good relationship.
And then one of those good friends introduced her to Dan. Now she recognized him as a person she could spend her life with happily. They've been married for several years.
I had the good luck to see her again, some time after we'd terminated therapy, and learned that they are still delighted to be married to one another.
|Main Specialty||Attachment Issues|
|Time in Practice||10 years +|
|I practice in||My state/province only|
|Additional Expertise||Marriage/Couples Counselor|
|I offer my services||At my office|
|I am fluent in||English|
|Licence information||Expiration 7/31/14|